Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The obsession rears its head

At the end of this week, I'll be 6 weeks post. In the past, this would have been the stage where I would put the home relaxing kit in the budget, especially considering that my edges show the new growth the clearest. Since I've been on my HHJ, I have made the conscious decision to not follow my old routine anymore, but to consider the health of my hair and scalp and my goal to grow my hair longer than it's ever been. Thus I am now officially entering a stretch. The last time I relaxed, I did so at 10 weeks post. In addition, my hair was slightly under processed and I feel slightly texlaxed. Now, for a girl who has been relaxing her hair bone straight her entire life, the texlaxed hair feels like a bit of a nuisance, and essentially I now have two points of demarcation, and thus hair that simply wants to break off. What I'm already doing to prevent this:

  • Avoiding heat. I must admit, I did a heat pass a week ago with my straightening iron. In my defense, it was the first time in over a month. That alone is a major victory for me, since I was married to my straightener!
  • Deep conditioning ten times more than I ever did in my life before entering this journey, alternating between moisture and protein to prevent overload. 
  • Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. seal, seal, seal. Which reminds me, I need to buy more coconut oil, my current bottle is on its very last legs. I also wish to get castor oil. I want to test it as I have heard numerous testimonies praising its use as a sealant and growth aid. 
  • I roller set religiously. My hair hasn't received a straight blow out in over three months. 
  • Wide tooth comb, wide tooth comb. 
  • Low manipulation. Although I comb my hair every day,I do so extremely gently, also checking my combs for hair once I'm finished. Once my hair is in its set style, I refrain from messing with it through out the day. 
Now, despite the above, I'm still experiencing more breakage than I would like, especially around my edges, even though I do not wear styles that put much strain on them. Although it's much less than it was before, I wish to minimize it even more. What follows are what I am going to try to incorporate into my regimen to assist me in my stretch and to retain as much length as possible. My main goal regarding retention is to retain 3cm by 11 May 2012, which is the scheduled next relaxer date. 

  • MUST sleep with silk bonnet or scarf EVERY night. I have become a little lax in this department and I need to fix it. 
  • Ask significant other very nicely to not play with my hair as much when we're watching movies. He loves it but my tresses don't. 
  • Healthier diet, healthier diet. Once again, many testimonies exist as to how a healthy diet assists in healthy hair. And a healthy body.
  • Drink more water - connected to the point above. Moisturize from the inside. And healthy for me too. 
If anyone out there has any additional thoughts or advice, it would be appreciated. I do not plan on transitioning, but dealing with 3 different textures can be maddening. So, I will continue to be vigilant and I pray to reap the rewards very very soon. 

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Raindrops falling on my head

Good morrow fair gentles!

It's been a minute since I've been here and I must say that I think I might have achieved some of my goals regarding balance, as mentioned last week. I've been eating like a normal human being again, instead of like a little bird. I feel much better, being less dizzy and not as fatigued. I believe that I have corrected my moisture/protein balance and that my tresses are on their way to being fabulous. I need to work out a new exercise regime to get to the gym in the mornings, as I now have class in the afternoons after work. And there is definitely work being done (by both parties) regarding the restoration of balance in my relationship.

Summer is definitely over and there's a distinct chill in the air. And it's still raining! It's been pouring cats and dogs for hours, people reporting over 80mm/3inches of rain during the course of the night alone. And the rain has not let up yet. It is awesome, perfect for pancakes and cuddling.

There is just one little problem, and I know that I am not the only one who thinks or feels this when the downpour comes - any effort you put into styling your hair is out the window! It ends up frizzy and shapeless. If you're not careful to sort it out as soon as you get home, you end up with a matted mess prone to breakage. I am protective styling practically all the time, and I believe the moisturizing and sealing is really assisting me in regaining strong, healthy hair and retaining growth. It still is a bit of a suck fest if half way through the day you're no longer professional looking and more than likely resemble a chow puppy. I believe it might be time for me to start investing in wigs and phony pony's. My edges are not cooperating as I would like them to, thus I am going to avoid extensions and sew-ins for the time being and simply continue to do protective styling without putting pressure on my scalp.

Lastly, it must be mentioned that it is ridiculous that in this small city, it takes almost an hour to get one from one place to another in rush hour traffic, whilst during any other time it doesn't even take you 15minutes. How is it possible that the powers that be have not made any plans in the past ten years regarding our infrastructure, and most specifically the roadways?? The city experience a constant influx of people and cars, but the roads aren't big enough and housing is so expensive due to lack of supply  and an ever-increasing demand that the UPPER middle class are renting because they can't find property that is consistent with the mortgages that they qualify for. But fear not. The city coffers are full enough so that executives have massive ENTERTAINMENT allowances. It irks me, that as a taxpayer, I must suffer due to the incompetence of the naked emperors. I know, I know. Be the change that you wish to see in the world. Somebody PLEASE tell me HOW in this particular instance??

Monday, March 19, 2012


I crave it, I desire it, I wish for it, I dream of it, I need it, I attempt to the very core of my being to attain it. Balance is so essential to one's physical and mental well being, and ironically, although the concept is simple enough, so few people are truly balanced and have achieved true equilibrium.

Yes, it's true. My sense of balance and equilibrium will not be the same as the next person's, but it is essential for us to have that sense of inner peace. Once we are balanced, then we don't feel empty and unfulfilled. We don't feel as if we need to chase the next high, whether that high be manifested in the form of a raise, a promotion, sex, alcohol or drugs. Once in balance, and were we to work diligently to maintain said balance, then emotions won't fly high and hysteria will not ensue. We won't feel the need to shout at our partner, because, even if slighted, we will know how to approach the situation calmly so as to restore balance. We won't feel the need to drink ourselves into a stupor, because we won't recognize that, when inebriated that we are particularly out of balance, in more ways than one. (Have you ever seen a drunk person be able to stand on one leg for longer than 2 seconds? I didn't think so) We wouldn't feel the need to chase after the opposite sex, having meaningless encounter after meaningless encounter, because we wouldn't fear committing to another person. We wouldn't feel unhappy in our jobs, careers or professions, because we would be balanced and fully realize and understand our own capabilities and talents and will not allow to be dictated to in such a way which would disrupt our equilibrium. We would be able to appreciate the beauty around us and the beauty within ourselves and will not have self esteem issues, because we are at peace with ourselves and we consciously work towards maintaining that peace. And thus we will recognize those out of balance and not allow them to declare war on our balance.

Once in balance, the sun will shine brighter, the breeze would blow softer and cooler, the air would smell sweeter. Food will taste better, music would sound better and sex would feel amazing. Our bodies will be healthier and our minds clearer. Wars would end and peace would reign. If only we can make the effort to find balance within ourselves. It's like a smile, it's contagious, in a very good way. Because those who see you, if they are out of balance, will admire you, recognize the balance that you exude and then work to bring balance within their own personal realm.

So...personal missions for the week.

  • Go to gym more regularly - must find balance in calories consumed and calories burnt
  • Sort out my desk at work and calmly work through all my files, and approach my boss to give me a couple of active files that need attention - find balance between passive work activities where I wait for responses and active work activities where I take the lead 
  • Speak to my fiance in a calm manner at all times, exude the love - find balance in my relationship
  • Eat more veggies and drink more water - find balance in my diet
  • Moisturize and seal my hair more diligently - correct the protein/moisture balance to reduce breakage and shedding. 
  • Make more regular contact with my family - find balance in relationships and time spent between friends and family
  • Pray more regularly and distinctly - find a balance in my life and my faith
I crave it, I desire it, I dream of it. And now I shall start working towards attaining it. What parts of your life do you think needs balance?

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

All I wanna do...

is have some fun. Y'all remember that Sheryl Crow song? Sometimes fun in my world isn't even limited to the dictionary definition of "fun". Sometimes, it's simply about doing what I want to do and getting what I want. Yes, that sounds selfish and immature, but if you've been catering to others' whims and fancies for as long as I have then you might digress from the judgment about to pop from your mind directed towards me. Essentially to have such selfish whimsical thoughts is a short game statement. But a bigger picture exists - if one's immediate desires aren't at least sometimes fulfilled, resentment builds. And right now...

The other day I spoke of love and about how the little things show the existence of love and are manifestations of love. But today I am annoyed to no end by "the little things" because certain people have this ability to ONLY see the little things and forget all about the bigger picture. And every once in a while I feel that it is prudent to take a look at the bigger picture, to look at the long game, to carefully consider the next shot you make so you can actually line up the one right after. Sometimes, just sometimes, life is like a game of pool. You need to think about what you want in the long term if you want to win the game. And right now I am being hounded by short game players.

What I want is for you to open your eyes and look at the bigger picture. Are you compromising for the sake of compromise or are you looking at the big picture? Are you making a specific statement because of your immediate feelings and surroundings, or have you thought about your long game? Are you going to perform a certain action for immediate gratification or are you considering the possible positive future consequences? The question thus is, WHY do you do WHAT you do WHEN you do it?

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Drama, drama, drama

Well, ladies and gentleman, it's official, Murphy HATES me. And I don't know what to do anymore to get this little bastard on my side. Okay, okay, details.

On Saturday, my apartment door lock broke and I was locked inside my apartment, had to call for help to get out. Was trapped in a TINY bachelor's flat. Eish, at least got out of there and then had a great day of sun, wine coolers and rugby! And a great evening of ciders, shots and playing "I never". It's great acting like you're 21 and in college again.

Move on to Monday. When my car's remote decided to stop working and my car refused to cooperate and stayed locked no matter what me, Ash or mechanic from the dealership tried. My car can officially not be broken into without causing major damage. Unfortunately, major damage has now been caused, in order for my car to move and for the dealership to fix the problem, my window had to smashed out. Watching that happen stung. But we're on the road to healing and fixing now, hopefully I'll have the Phoenix back before the weekend. And a free courtesy car is in the works, hopefully available within the next couple of hours.

Now, to move on to a lighter topic - my hair! t's been a while since I've rambled about my tresses, but I must say that I think my new regimen is yielding results. Of course patience is the key word, but I am getting compliments left right and center and I think that is a major achievement. Also, I do believe that I am actually retaining length. The basis for this belief is the size rollers that I use to roller set, and the fact that I am using more and more larger sized rollers, especially compared to the start of my journey. I am planning to post progress pictures soon, even if just for my own personal encouragement. Another major personal achievement is the lack of heat I use on my hair. My GHD and Toni&Guy straighteners are beginning to feel slightly obsolete, but I'm not giving them away, one never knows when they might simply rescue a style attempt. I am very proud of myself though for the minimal manipulation on my hair, minimal heat, as well as being vigilant to sleep with a silk bonnet every night.

As a sign off, I would like to express thanks to Ebony from Longing4Length for the awesome tips and advise and encouragement. To her credit I am wearing a Rihanna-esque hairstyle today and loving it.

Now, a question to y'all - any latest experiences with Murphy where you wish he was tangible so that you could kick his ass?

Friday, March 2, 2012

No self respect!

Well, once again, I experienced disappointment in the human condition. Last night, me and Ashantè were at the monthly stand up comedy show, and the first half was awesome. There is some serious talent in this town. However, the evening was spoiled by a freaking pick pocket who stole Ashantè's phone right out of her handbag, whilst it was hanging across her shoulder. This a-hole is "good", she didn't even feel the meddling into her handbag.

What pisses me off is the fact that there are people in this world that have no innate pride and no self respect, and thus they steal from another. We work for what we have, why in the hell can't you, Mr Thief? Why can't you get your lazy ass off the ground and get a job? Why can't you set goals for yourself and then work towards them? Why, if you want a smart phone so badly, can't you SAVE some money and then buy your own? Why in the HELL do you have to steal it from someone who has WORKED for it??

You know what Mr Thief, that is exactly why WE will end up running this place and why YOU will be on welfare for the rest of your life. You are a leech on society, you're an insect, you are worth less than the roaches in your very dirty kitchen. (And your kitchen will be filthy because you have no pride!) So, do the rest of us a favor and drop dead. I hope your dick rots off.