Friday, July 27, 2012

Pretty little liars

We pride ourselves on being honest and open, about people getting what they see and that they should not have unreasonable expectations. We make it clear that we are flawed and that we make mistakes. We also make it clear that change will not happen at the drop of a hat and definitely not at the instance of someone else. We believe firmly that change comes fro within and not because someone else wants it.

That's all GREAT. And also a BIG, FAT lie! Because we are liars. We are so adept at lying that we believe our own lies. Someone asks us how we're doing, we smile and say that we're good. And we believe it! We feel happy, and we laugh and joke with colleagues and friends. We put in a bit of effort to look as good as we feel, by putting on some make up and looking after out hair and making sure that our outfit for the day is cute and coordinated. We then proceed to float through the day, believing that we're floating on cloud 9.

And then it happens. Everyone knows it the minute it happens, and IT is different for everyone, it is unique to YOU and your personal circumstance. And immediately you snap, as if someone put on a light inside your brain and you recognize the lie for what it is and you see the truth standing next to it, smirking at you. You feel your smile drop and your brow furrow. You feel a slight hitch in your throat and a minor shortness of breath. It's as if a Dementor came across your path and sucked the cheerfulness and energy out of the f-ing day!

Now the trick is to then actually be bloody honest with yourself, acknowledge the truth, so not allow it to simply stand and smirk at you. and then DON'T go and shove the truth back into a dark corner!! Actually drag its ass into the light and DEAL with it. Yes, you can't deal with all your issues in one go. Yes, if you've been hurt, the pain doesn't simply disappear. Yes, sometimes life is just to hard to actually stare it in the face. But then for how long do you think you can continue to live the lie before attempting a short drop and a sudden stop??

Stop living the lie. And now I'm confronting MY truth.

Yes I'm doing better. But NO, I'm not 100 percent yet. I realized it when I saw my former engagement ring in a store front window. In a matter of a split second, a myriad of feelings, both good and bad washed over me, and almost dropped me to my knees, a cloud suddenly blocking out the sun. My saving grace was recognizing the truth and dealing with a bit of it at that very moment. As I walked down the street I cussed under my breath, and shouting in my head. My face probably looked homicidal. Now, an hour later I have my breath back and the frown across my brow has relaxed, but it's not gone. But it's an absolute necessity that we must be honest with ourselves and refuse to live the lie. No, I'm not going to be a bloody Moaning Myrtle, but I will not be crippled by the truth again, I will not allow it to catch me unawares again.

That's the only way I will actually be okay.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Donut bun, yippee!

So, because my hear is not SL yet, whenever I felt like wearing a bun, I would whip out the faux pony and then make a bun using that. It was simple and easy and it's protective, my ends being completely tucked away. Last night however, I watched Ebony's  video on how to make a healthier sock bun, and it clicked in my head, that maybe, just maybe, my own hair is long enough to attempt a sock bun, and so I decided that I need to try it, I have nothing to lose. I haven't done it since high school, and even back then I swear, I never did do it right.

So I found a sock. It's not an old raggedy sock, but its partner has been chowed by the washer. (Yes, I believe that washers and dryers eat socks!!) Snipped off the toe and proceeded to fold my donut. It's a 100 percent cotton sock, so I found a ripped pair of silk stocks and proceeded to cut of the calve section, as well as it's toe and rolled that over the already formed sock donut so that it's silky and smooth and doesn't absorb all the moisture from my hair. And then I tested it out. And it WORKED! My OWN hair was in a bun! And it looks good. At least I think so.

The faux pony will always be there, it's a quick fix for a quick style change. But I love not having to be dependent on it with regards to wearing a bun. So far, it has truly been a happy hair week!!

Moisture is my friend!!

After my protein overload disaster, I have been VERY careful with my tresses, as well as upping the moisturizing. Last week Thursday (19 July 2012) I decided to indulge myself and try out a product that a myriad of people have also been raving about. I know, I know, I should not be jumping on every bandwagon, but I have been craving to try this for MONTHS and it's finally available locally. And that would be....drum roll please....Aussie Mega Moisture!! So I forked over the N$ 70 (about US$ 10) for a 200ml bottle and off I went. That evening I did my pre-poo with a mixture of warm coconut and castor oil. My head was an oil slick. I gently detangled (very little shedding and breakage, yippee!!!) and then covered the oil slick with a plastic baggy and my shower cap and then chilled with Supernatural for the duration of an episode. (Yes, I know I'm addicted. And I couldn't care less, lol) after that I jumped in the shower and lightly shampooed with Avon Moisturizing Shampoo for Dry and Damaged hair. I also did my first black tea rinse then, standing in the shower, tilting my head back and throwing the tea over my hair. I then first conditioned with my Tresseme, for the singular reason to detangle, and then I rinsed. I then slathered on the Aussie Conditioner.

First off, it smells DIVINE!! I love the scent, it has a calming effect and it filled the entire bathroom. Secondly, the conditioner has nice slip. Now, it may be that my hair has already received a shot of moisture from the Tresseme, but the Aussie is so much thicker, I truly felt as if my hair was being drenched in goodness. I covered my hair with the shower cap again and proceeded to wash myself and giving myself over to the lovely scents floating around my bathroom. When I was done I rinsed and my hair felt AWESOME!! It was soft, and detangled, and silky, and it still smelt like the conditioner.

I got dressed at the speed of lightning in my nice warm PJ's (it's winter over here people, and it's COLD) and then proceeded to roller set my hair, using my Dark & Lovely Spritz Moisturizer as leave in, spritzing my hair with it as I'm rolling. It was also on of the easier roller sets, the hair simply glided onto the roller. (my mesh roller have little "teeth") 

I didn't want to stay up ALL night waiting for it to dry so I used my hairdryer on its cold air setting and blasted my hair with the cold hair to help dry it faster. And holy crap!! When it was dry and came out of the rollers it was soft, and flippen shiny! And it still smelled SO awesome! By the way, the fragrance lingered for about three days) I decided to flat iron my roots and then wrap my hair, and I word my hair out the next day. EVERYBODY was commenting and complimenting me on how good my hair looked and how the improvement in health is beyond visible. And those who rarely see my hair out could not believe the added length. I walked on a cloud the ENTIRE Thursday! Yes, Aussie is bloody expensive, but I think it was worth it. It truly was a happy hair day! Check it out.

Just a terrible wash day...and a slight review

Yes, yes, yes, I know, it's been a minute. In all honesty I've been running around like a crazy person at work and at the same time getting to know myself all over again. That however is a story for another post.

What I want to talk about today is the fact that I tried out a new product, based on rave reviews online and my own sister liking the CRAP out of this product. That being ORS Olive Oil Hair Masque Deep Treatment.  So, the instructions say that it's an intensive treatment that cannot be used on a too regular basis and when one applies it, that 5-10 minutes is sufficient, depending on whether heat is used or the extent of damage to one's hair. I thought, since my hair's health has picked up quite a bit that 5 minutes under a shower cap in the shower while washing the rest of my body would be sufficient.

So...I got a sample of sulfate free shampoo from The Body Shop. It lathered up very nicely for a sulfate free shampoo, and my hair felt clean, but it simply didn't feel right. I don't know how to describe it. Nevertheless, I then put on the Masque and detangled when my hair was drenched in it. And this is where the nonsense started:
1. Very little slip. It took forever to detangle my still short hair and I wasn't even 9 weeks post at the time!
2. Because of the lack of slip I ended up with a lot of hair in my comb after the detangle session, much more than usual. I had to talk very sternly to myself to not start crying right there in the shower!

I then put on my shower cap and had a nice long shower, hoping the steam of the shower would also benefit my hair along with the product.

When I rinsed out the masque my hair just felt wrong, very wrong. Not soft, not conditioned, but freaking HARD! And then I had a light bulb moment - this must be a HARD protein treatment. I immediately grabbed my Tresseme Moisturizing Conditioner and slathered it on, and I mean SLATHERED. Unfortunately, it only helped a little. Trying to rollerset was close to IMPOSSIBLE. But I pushed through, if I left my hair to just airdry like that this disaster would have been even greater. I however did not use any heat to have my hair dry in the rollers, so it took about 4-5 hours, during which I indulged my current Supernatural obsession. On a side not, isn't Dean Winchester just the perfect guy?? I would SO go along on those hunting trips with him. Damn!!

Okay, in any event, after my hair dried, I took out the rollers, moisturized and sealed and wrapped. My hair felt crunchy and off for days!! Friends and colleagues did say that it had a nice shine, but I just hated how it felt, and the amount of breakage I experienced for the first two days afterwards.

Lesson learnt - that is what a protein overload feels like. I still have the masque, it's too damn expensive to throw away. But I will be using it once a month only, and I will make sure to prepoo with a moisturizing conditioner instead of oil, so that I don't throw out the balance again.

Any similar experiences?

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

I caught the bouquet!

I know, I haven't been here in a minute. To be fair, nothing interesting happened regarding my hair. and I've been nowhere near a PC for a few days. However, I did partake in the celebration of a blessed union, and I did it without having a mini break down. My cousin got married this past weekend and it was truly an occasion to remember. And I mean in every sense.

The decor was superb, the food was amazing, the DJ knew what he was doing more than half the time, (which is good, I've been to many weddings where the DJ had no clue) there was an open bar (!) and it was held at the spectacular Namibian coast, the desert air crisp and clear and chilly. I still need to negotiate with my photographer dad for some pics.

It was a beautiful wedding and an amazing reception, but what amazed me the most, which I have not seen before, was the bridal couple being some of the last people to leave the reception hall. They danced with everyone, they chatted with everyone, the bride led the conga line!! They had fun and truly celebrated their union.

Yes, it is true that I'm wrestling with the idea of commitment (again!) but it did put a smile on my face to see these beautiful young people commit themselves and their lives to one another. Witnessing this almost gave me new hope regarding the topics of love and relationships and commitment and monogamy and all that jazz.

And then of course, the irony of life (if nothing else, God has a wry sense of humor) - I caught the bridal bouquet, something that has never happened to me before. Some say I should see it as a sign. Right now all I see is the funny twists and turns the paths of my life are taking these days, but I smiled and I enjoyed the moment of victory.

On the topic of hair, I did a roller set, wrapped it and wore my hair out for the wedding. The roots experienced a hell of a lot of reversion (cold, damp, coastal air) but for the most part I looked cute through out the night in my purple. pink and grey ensemble. When I got home, thoroughly exhausted, I simply wrapped my hair and passed out. The next morning I just moisturized and sealed by spritzing clean water and using a silicone serum to seal and then bunned my hair. By the time I got home to the dryer interior the reversion from the previous 24 hours was gone and my hair still soft and manageable. Next wash will either be a minor one tonight before heading out to dinner with my closest girlfriends, or a major one Saturday morning, which will include a long coconut oil pre-poo and a nice long DC with a heated towel while I watch Supernatural.(Hello there Dean!!)

Until next time, have an awesome hump day!!

Monday, July 2, 2012

I survived the weekend...and an official length check

It's Monday, I am at work, I definitely need to tackle the heap on my desk, and I made through the weekend. The first weekend. I'm still employing the same survival methods - focus on the here and now and let the future take care of itself. 

On another note, on Friday, after work, I went to the salon to a stylist that I know does awesome blow outs. I again realised why I haven't been to a salon in over 7 months - the wash girl shampooed and conditioned my hair in one big ball, did not detangle prior to me getting into the stylists chair and in my opinion the products used were subpar. I could feel my ends being dry and my hair being FULL of static electricity. While she was doing the blow out I feel that she could have been a little more gentle, but it wasn't that bad. The end result however was AWESOME. My hair had lots of movement, body and shine. And I could finally see that I have really had some good growth. Also, I am 7 weeks post and one would swear that I just had a fresh relaxer after that blow out. So, taking that into consideration, I decided to a very official length check compared to when I started on this journey. I apologise for the picture quality - cellphone, and taken in the bathroom. 

I think that I can technically claim SL due to the hair at the back actually reaching that length, but I do not wish to claim it until the front and sides at the very least reach chin length, and I really think that I'm not that far off from it. Also, the salon won't see me again for quite a long time, since I now know that me taking care of my own hair yields the best results. However, when I do go again (I never said never, lol)  will make sure to either take my own products and to detangle myself prior to the blow out OR I will wash and DC at home and then simply have my hair rinsed at the salon and then blown. This time, to counteract the dryness left by the subpar products and lack of proper detangling I moisturized and sealed a little heavier than usual and I have succeeded in parching the dryness in a 24hour time span. 

So ladies, am I entitled to give myself a pat on the back?