Goals for the month to come

The first month of spring is over and we are experiencing hotter and hotter weather, but the humidity levels have not quite risen as much as I hoped and thus I am experiencing a little dryness, which I will be focusing on for the month of October. 

I'm gonna keep this short, so as to not overload myself, as exams are also around the corner. 

• Moisturize and seal twice a day. I have become lazy in this department, only sealing in the evenings, and I need to do it more than that, I can feel it. 
• Continue rocking the knot outs but pro-actively learn how to do them with less manipulation and a softer touch. The knot outs hide my true length, and I think it's good
• Get back to basics - MY basics. I have been gallivanting with a million different products, trying everything new, experimenting, become a junkie. I'm going to scale down big time and get back to my staples - Pantene Shampoo and Conditioner, ORS Hair Mayonnaise, Pantene Moisturizing DC, coconut oil, castor oil, ORS Hair Fertilizer, ORS Glossing Polisher, roller setting. I believe that I will get more consistent results with these base products and a consistent approach. 
• Moisturizing DC once to twice a week, ONE protein DC for the month. I've experienced over load before, the memory still haunts me, and I am not making the same mistake again! 
• Scalp massages with the castor oil the night before wash days, intense massages, especially around the hairline. Followed with overnight coconut oil prepoo. 
• BABY my nape. I've been having some bad breakage and it needs to stop! It's messing with my mojo.
• NO HEAT for the entire month. NONE. 

The ultimate goal is that I need the front half of my hair to catch up with the back, my nape to stop breaking and my hairline to fill out even more. Hot on the heels of that, I want retention without obsessing, thus hiding the true length for at least another month. I want my hair to feel soft and lush and nourished. And I want to STOP spending SO much money on hair products, OMG, it's ridiculous. 

So, those are my goals for October. Regarding this immediate weekend, I'm going to the hottest party in town - rocking the bantu knot out, fierce make up, and a head turning outfit. Will attempt pics, decent ones this time. Happy Friday everybody, and blessed weekend!!

Black Vulcanite and post weekend update

Good morning everybody, and I hope y'all are having a better Monday than me. I'm all snotty and congested and this fuzzy head feeling is not conducive to a good mood. 

Regarding the weekend, it was such a blast being at the Black Vulcanite video shoot party. I can't wait for the video to premiere. Although these boys are young, I believe that they are firmly on the road to real success, as long as they continue to work as hard as they are now. Of course, with their momager, the awesome and stylish Ms Manetti by their side, only good things I predict will come their way. 

Yesterday I was so lazy and a little lethargic that I spent most of the day watching Grey's Anatomy and wondering why it is that women allow themselves to go crazy over one of two things - a man or their career. It always seems to be one of the two. I believe my friend Stiletto Rambler will probably broach the topic at some stage, because it is somewhat perplexing to me, maybe because I believe that one can have it all. Of course Grey's Anatomy is simply a story, the figment of someone's imagination, but quite a few of the story lines have a way of tugging at one's subconscious, of being relatable to one's own life. It could simply be due to good writing or good acting, or it could be that the issues are very real to many people. I don't know, I'm rambling.

Nevertheless, the weekend was an absolute blast!! I apologise for the lack of pics, considering that I made so much effort with my hair this weekend and I laid out all of my plans beforehand, but I am pleased to report that everything did come out awesome, my hair being full and lively and getting mucho compliments. The outfit was very spring focused, including a colourful boobtube and purple waterfall cardi. I felt good (snotty but good) and according to my friends, I looked good. 

I realised that I need to stock up on a moisturizing DC, a moisturizing shampoo and a light protein DC, like ORS Hair Mayonnaise, and very soon. I haven't done a hair haul in a while and I have actually been using up quite a bit of my current stash. I strongly believe that I will be FULL shoulder length by the end of the year, which is my ultimate goal for 2012. Then we'll start working on 2013 and where to go at that stage. In the meantime I need to be consistent and continue caring and loving and the results will be more and more evident as time goes by. 

That's it for now folks. Have an awesome Monday, and a blessed week!

Edit: Got a pic folks, I'm with my awesome friend Ashante and one third of Black Vulcanite, AliThatDude. Feel the awesomeness emanate from this pic :-) 

History and being conscious of it

You are who you were...

The choices and decisions that you have made in the past directly affect who and what you are now...

One cannot be angry at someone else or blame circumstances for the life that you are living. Yes, some things are out of our control, some things we must leave to God and the fates, but we are in so much control, but we relinquish that control so easily, we are scared of the responsibility attached to it. We fear having to OWN who we are and what we do. And as adults it is exactly what what we're supposed to do. 

For example, I am not where I wanted to be at this age in my career. I'm still doing grunt work, while many of peers are in management already. I'm still the office gofer, while my peers in my field are becoming partners in their respective firms. I still live in a tiny bachelor's apartment, while others are buying property. But I know that nobody caused my current circumstances but me, and I own it, for I have had experiences that quite a few of my peers have not. I have traveled more, I have seen more, I have experienced more. I annoy the hell out of my friends sometimes when we're watching a movie and then I suddenly shout out "I was there! I saw that place up close and personal, it was so cool!" 

At the same time I am now very aware that the decisions I make today WILL affect my life tomorrow, and it can be across the range. Party a little too hard on Friday equals feeling like absolute horse crap on Saturday. Spend too much money at the beginning of the month equals being ridiculously broke 2 weeks before pay day already. Eat too much over lunch equals feeling bloated afterwards and probably also gaining an extra pound or two. Skip the gym too often equals not losing that extra pound or two. Not working hard equals pissing off your boss and putting your professional career in jeopardy. Not studying hard enough equals poor marks which puts a dent in your academic career. 

Like Einstein said, every action has an equal and opposite reaction, and thus I believe that we must become much more conscious of our daily, weekly, monthly actions instead of blaming and shaming everyone else. Your LIFE is YOUR responsibility. Even if things happen that are beyond your control, what IS in your control is how you handle it, how you react to it, how you deal with it. Even if it means simply acknowledging that BS is happening and that you'll get through it somehow, such as the fact that I expect service from a service provider, and I expect quick efficient service especially if I iterate  that it's urgent and I needed it done yesterday. Yes, it's not really fair to put pressure on someone due a delay caused by something out of your control. But it is fair to expect courteousness and understanding. And I didn't get it. I could jump up and down, stomp my foot, become a nasty human being who's never going to get anywhere with this service provided EVER. Or I can smile, say thank you, walk out with head high and then blow up his superior's phone. I opted for the latter, and my blood pressure thanks me.  We're entering the weekend and I refuse that some stuck up bureaucrat spoil my day or my weekend. 

Now, I will end this by turning this entire life reality towards hair care (this is after all partly a journal chronicling my hair journey). What one does today, will be evident tomorrow. I had a thought earlier about how my mom took care of my hair as a kid and what the hell happened after I moved away to varsity, the differences in our approaches and the resultant effects. And I realised that my mom had some good practices, which I could replicate a bit now as an adult, of course altering it a little bit, and some I have already. Heat usage is minimal, roller setting is the norm and a good slippy conditioner is a staple. What I can reincorporate from my childhood would be more low to now manipulation hairstyles and gentler detangling. (Yeah, I struggle with it a bit more now that I actually have longer hair to deal with) What's new now which I never did as a kid is pre-pooing, deep conditioning and daily moisturizing, all of which I'm going to amp up, as I want luscious hair sooner rather than later. 

There is NO easy way to reach ANY goal, whether it be in life, work, play or even your hair. What I do now will be evident tomorrow, and thus, I plan to, in all areas of my life, be more conscious of my actions and decisions, as I truly want the BEST life I can have. 

Weekend hair plans

I haven't had a big post regarding my hair in a while, and I suspect that I'm actually suffering the consequences. My hair is not feeling very soft and nourished at the moment, and I know now that the reason for that is the fact that I have not been keep stricter tabs on myself. I'm experiencing breakage and I suspect it might be a little bit of a setback considering that I'm only 3 weeks post and I'm not supposed to be having these issues, well not in my mind at least. So, I'm going to go a little drastic and a little OCD on myself, because I love the fact that I've gained quite a bit of length in the past 6 months, but I want it healthy and happy. So mini challenges:

• moisturize and seal twice a day
• keep hands out of hair during the day
• DC twice a week WITH heat
• wear hair pinned and protectively every day till end of October, even if in a knot out or braid out or roller set - pin up and bun!

There will be one exception to that last bullet. I'm planning on wearing my hair out this coming Saturday as I'll be at a very cool event, the shoot of Black Vulcanite's first music video! So here's my plan regarding my tresses on Saturday, cause a girl has got to look GOOD:

• wake up nice and early, clean the apartment and then start with a prepoo with warm coconut oil, for at least the length of two or three Grey's Anatomy episodes. Make a pot of black tea with mint leaves added, have a cup, let the rest cool down.
• Wash hair with ORS Creamy Aloe, slightly diluted, rinsing properly. 
• Rinse with the tea
• DC hair with a mixture of Pantene Repair and Protect, Give Me Moisture, ORS Masque and coconut oil, with a hot towel, for the duration of another two episodes, at least. 
• Rinse the DC and tea out and brace myself and give a final rinse with VERY cold water. 
• Put in my leave in's of Avon 3D Rescue and ORS Glossing Polisher. 
• Roller set, and have it air dry while continuing with Grey's Anatomy. (Yes, it's a new obsession for me people, and I love it!)
• When completely dry, lightly moisturize and seal and wrap.
• Find an outfit, do my make up, all with Grey's in the background. 
• About half an hour before having to leave for the party, take down wrap and lightly and gently iron my hair on a low heat
• Leave the house with BOUNCE!

Anybody else have weekend plans yet? 

Letting go...easier said than done

Well good morning world. The weekend has been a mish mash of experiences and feelings, and thoughts that sometimes simply did not make sense. Essentially, it's easy to know what your hard limits are, what you will not tolerate. It's easier to formulate in your head the positive, to know exactly what you do want and what you desire. One thing that I've known about myself forever is that I am attracted to intelligence and wit, the kind that some people may find weird or disconcerting. It makes me wonder why in the world I was with someone for the longest time who was not in my league, neither intellectually, culturally or socially. 

We were simply a wrong fit, but I fell hook line and sinker and today I can't say why. I don't know what I fell in love with, perhaps it was the idea of love more than anything else of him. Maybe I was very deeply in love with the idea of actually committing to someone, of being in a stable relationship, of becoming a "grown-up". Well, it turned out that he was not stable and thus the relationship itself wasn't stable, in fact, it was downright stormy as the end neared. I think back at that time and although there were good, happy times, it's very hard for me to remember those clearly, when the bad, shitty times are so vivid in my mind's eye. It's tremendously difficult for me to own up to myself, because I should realised long before the end was glaringly obvious to the world that I was in a toxic situation and that I needed to extract myself from it. In the end I did and technically I'm free. 

But, since we're being honest, is one ever truly free after having gone through something like this? How does one truly get rid of the poison that still course through my veins? Many people would answer that forgiveness is the answer, that forgiveness is for me and not the other person, it's to free me and not him. My head tells me that it's the right answer and that I should forgive him and let him go, that I should not have the burden of bad memories weighing me down. My heart on the other hand wishes to smite and avenge itself, to plan plots of destruction against the person who hurt me. But revenge is a difficult game, it requires patience and a resolve of steel, and more commitment than anything one can imagine. 

He's not worth all of that effort. He's simply worthy of being a castaway with no hope of rescue. I am worthy of so much more than pain and nightmares. I realise now that I can let go a little more each day, but it's still not easy. I understand why people end up in rebound situations now. I understand it, but I don't want it, otherwise I'll never heal completely and thoroughly. What I want and need is time, time to process, time to forgive, time to let go. And I need to give MYSELF that time. No one else will, it's up to me. 

The weekend is upon us!

It's Friday everybody and I am planning on getting some rest and having a good time in the next 72 hours. In my last post I mentioned how I now like curls and how I'm going to try new things? Well, everybody that knows me, know that I'm not a pink person, but I have this little pink trench that I got on sale for an absolute steal, and today I'm rocking it with a knot out that could not be more perfect.

That's all for today everybody. Have an AWESOME weekend!!

Trying new things

One of the most awful tings in life is getting stuck in a rut. Whether the rut exists at work, at your business, in your social life, in your relationship, it is an indication of an imbalance, and primarily of YOU, who is in the rut, being lazy and not busting out of your own rut. I am speaking from personal experience, having experienced many different ruts, and only getting out of it after I made a concerted effort. One must take responsibility for your own life, you cannot expect others to help you out of your rut. 

Now, with that being said, I know that I have been in a styling rut for a while. My hair is growing and the retention is there, but also, it's now at an awkward stage where I had NO idea what to do with it except EZ comb and bunning, until recently. I did a side french braid a la Katniss Everdeen. I still need a LOT of practice with that one though, and MORE hair, lol. 

I actually did a bantu knot out and it came out cute!! I'm wearing my hair straight today for the first time in almost a week, which is VERY rare for me, because my entire life I would wear my hair straight and stretched for the simple reason that I believed, into my core, that curls did not suit me. Well, glory hallelujah, I was wrong and it is giving me more hope and vigor to try even more NEW things, with my hair, my workout schedule, my make up, my wardrobe. And lastly, after my first summer swim of the new season, my hair turned into a nice big wavy do, which I'm going to attempt to recreate soon. 

Now, I think it may be very much overdue to post some pics. I would love to hear what everybody thinks and on how to improve the styles and on suggestions for other styles to try. I apologise for the picture quality, hopefully they're clear enough for y'all to get the idea. 

Side french braid a la Katniss Everdeen. 

First successful bantu knot out

Knot out lightly pinned at the sides

Tighter knot out, also slightly pinned at the sides

BIG hair after a swim and lying in the sun

So, what new things have YOU been trying lately?

Getting back in the groove of things

Yes, spring time means more energy, more sunlight during the day and summer is around the corner bringing with it short skirts, strapless tops and dresses and bathing suits. Spring time also means that for the first time in 3-4 months one actually LOOKS at your naked body (it's too chilly in winter to examine - out the bath, into warm pj's!!) and realise that you've gone and turned into the Michelin Man  or Pillsbury Dough Boy during the months of Fall and Winter. Damn you clam chowder!! 

Regardless, spring also means that one actually has renewed vigor and renewed inspiration to be in the gym and work it! I know I do. So, the plan is simple - work out at least 5 days a week, eat PLENTY of veggies and salads and fruits, up the protein and decrease the carbs, and drink water like I'm being paid. 

Regarding my hair whilst working out - get a VERY cheap conditioner for co-washing (shampoo wash only twice a week), start trying twist outs and braid out, and protective styling up the yazoo. I just realised, I should get a sweatband! 

Goals regarding weight loss and health - lose 6-8 pounds by the end of September, gain 5-8% muscle mass during the same time period, bring down blood pressure by 10 points, reduce resting heart rate by 15beats per minute. Goals regarding hair - retain every millimeter of growth, reduce breakage currently being experienced and UP,UP,UP the moisturizing. 

So, here I go. 

In need of a new wardrobe!!

To all the ladies out there, don't you just hate it when the new season rolls around and you look at your wardrobe and you just feels the good mood you woke up with fly right out the window? That has been me for the past few days. Yes, the weather is lovely. Yes, I can pack away the chunky sweaters and thick socks. The sad part...I also pack away my boots, scarves and coats, the clothing items necessary for winter and which I LOVE. Now that's spring's here and the season of exposed skin is back, all I can see is how pudgy I got over winter (yes, I'm back in the gym already, but still) and how freaking WHITE I am. My thighs look like those of a ghost and the blue veins shining through on my arms make me feel like a poor rendition of a Jackson Polluck! The biggest issue though, every freaking morning - what in the name of Zeus am I going to wear??? So I found some lovely ideas on Pinterest and in the coming weeks will attempt to recreate them with what I currently have in my closet and then start hitting the sales. Here's a bit of a visual:

Now to rummage through my closet, find the existing items and be creative!! Have a good week all!

Spring...and wanderlust!!

Good morning people, and happy Spring time. Although, let's be honest, in this beautiful country of ours, there is TWO seasons, those being Summer and Winter. Autumn and Spring are illusions which we would love to buy into but we actually only feel them once the sun goes down, since the days are already cooking. All said and done we all adjusted our clocks yesterday as it was the end of daylight saving and me personally...my body and internal clock takes about 3 days to adjust to a ONE hour adjustment on the clock. Now can you imagine the pain and agony I go through whenever I fly through a number of time zones?? I have the worst jet lag ever!

Regardless of having the worst jet lag, the wanderlust has me by the throat, and since I can't go anywhere anytime soon, I've been drooling about the following places for the past couple of weeks. I'm putting it out there and the Universe in it's infinite wisdom will show me the way on how to get there. Anyone else wanna go anywhere?

LAS VEGAS

AMSTERDAM

JAMAICA

PARIS

NYC

Have a good Monday everybody!!