Friday, April 29, 2016

Update...and explaining the silence

Hey there everyone

I know I've been absent. Life has a way of flipping everything upside down and the first thing to suffer was this blog. As most of you will remember, I went through a very bad patch last year regarding my hair journey. Breaking, shedding, generally misbehaving. I lost so much length, from basically APL to a bob barely touching my shoulders. And for the longest I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong. I felt like I was doing all the right things. Prepoo, deep condition, leave ins, rollersets, stretching my relaxers for months, protective styling, the works. But my hair was not having it. BALLS of hair every wash day. Day 2 hair looking a right mess every time. Moisture not staying where it should. I grew despondent and angry.

It messed with my head and mentally I ended up in a not too good space. And ON TOP OF IT, all of my favourite bloggers went natural. Now ladies, I admire the hell out of you and your hair looks GREAT. It's just that now as a relaxed girl I don't relate as well any more. So it also started to seem like my well of advice and tips was drying up. And for a while there it made me feel even worse.

Then in December I decided enough is enough. I had a frank discussion with myself. You see, at the time I was practically 8 months post and have been toying with the idea of going natural myself. but my new growth was driving me insane! I'm talking bat shit crazy! Trying to handle it was a mission. I swear, my social life suffered. And social animal that I am, that did not bode well for my psyche. My health suffered as I stopped going to the gym because I didn't want to deal with the mop on my head after a workout. Everything went down hill.

So, I became honest with myself - I am not ready in any way or form to go natural. I'm not even ready to deal with a lot of new growth between relaxers! When I started this journey I started stretching my relaxers to a maximum of 14 weeks. Considering that before this journey I promptly relaxed at 8 weeks, it made a difference. My hair flourished. So, logic dictated that the longer I stretched, the less chemicals touch my hair and the longer my hair will grow. My hair debunked this premise. So, in early December I relaxed my hair and vowed to never wait longer than 14 weeks again, which led to my Easter touch up, which makes me a solid 4 weeks post this week. My next touch up is preliminary scheduled for the weekend of 25 June, but these days if I personally feel DONE I will schedule the touch up. Struggling makes me impatience and impatience is part and partial to breakage and general lack of luster. I will listen to myself and my hair and my gut from now on.

I've simplified my regimen and went back to basics. I have a wash day once to twice a week. I prepoo using cheapie conditioners enhanced with coconut oil. I've scrapped castor oil from my regimen as my scalp basically becomes inflamed it's so irritated and itchy. It works wonders for some ladies, like my best friend, who I gifted all my left over castor oils, but it created the itchy and scratchy show on my head.

My staple conditioners are Aussie 3 min Moist and Herbal Essence Hello Hydration. My hair likes it. I just have to start planning for when they run out as a friend of mine brought my current stash from the States when he came to come and visit. I don't jump between conditioners and products anymore, consistency is key here.

My staple deep conditioners are once again ORS Replenishing and ORS HAIRepair Nourishing Conditioners. They are oldies but goodies. They worked awesomely in 2012/2013, they'll work awesomely again. I DC at least once a week for a minimum of 45 minutes.

I roller set. And I'm not talking trying cute fancy styles with perm rods and flexi rods and what not. I'm talk big ass rollers to stretch my hair, have a quick heatless drying time and have smooth hair which I then pin up or in a bun or a french braid without having to use any heat whatsoever. No heat worked in the beginning, it'll just have to work again now.

There has been progress. I'm officially still shoulder length but it looks like I might reach collarbone length in a few weeks. I don't get angry at my hair any more. I don't have to try to beat it into submission. I even made peace with my big ass forehead - sometimes with working and gymming and trying to have a social life the cute fringe/bangs simply have to be pinned back otherwise it looks a mess.

Speaking of gymming, my biokiniticist and I are on a mission! My best friend is getting married this year and I have been honored to be her Maid of Honour. Which of course entails not only being her right hand man but also getting my butt in shape. I refuse to stand before God and society in a lovely dress looking like a lump. So for the past month I've been getting back into my routine with regards to my weight loss journey as well. I work out a minimum of 3 days a week for about an hour to an hour and half, depending on my biokineticist's mood. We mix cardio, own body weight resistance training, HIIT and weight training. So far, so good.

My eating plan is Banting based aka low carb, medium protein, high fat. Paleo is similar, as is Atkins. I love it. I barely miss the carbs and I can freely have bacon! Due to having a nice solid breakfast, I rarely eat lunch, as I'm simply not hungry. And dinner is usually a small protein based affair before 7:30 pm. When I started my journey last year I weighed in at 94 kg (207 pounds). Yeah, horrible, disgusting, UNHEALTHY. I did a quick weigh in yesterday, and the scale went to stand on 79.8 kg (175 pounds). Not even close to where I want to be, but SO much closer than I ever was before. So I push through and say no thank you to bread, burgers, cakes, pasta and potatoes. And it's getting easier by the day.

so, to end off, a quick rundown on my washing experience last night and this morning. I shampooed with an Argan oil shampoo, then instant conditioned and detangled using Herbal Essence Hello hydration. I love that conditioner so much, the amount of slip is heaven. I then DC'd overnight using the Hask Macadamia Oil Conditioner.

And I'm never going to use it again! It clumped my strands together so much that this morning I actually had to use a little bit of shampoo and a lot of Hello Hydration all over again for my hair to be manageable and malleable.

I then added my leave ins of MorrocanOil Serum, Bone Strait and Aphogee Keratin & Green Tea Restructurizer and proceeded to roller set. I used my hair dryer to dry my hair in the rollers and then I decided to straighten it as it would be the first time in a few weeks and I needed an indication of what my hair is doing. I am after all preparing my entire body from head to toe for the wedding of the year, lol. One quick pass with the iron and I was out the door.

Not too shabby but I am definitely due for a mini trim, those ends look a tad raggedy. also, a pop of colour is definitely needed. Looking a bit mousy at the moment. We have a few public holidays next week so it's definitely on the agenda for one of those lazy off days.

So, there you guys have it. I promise to be more vigilant on the blog from hereon out, it actually keeps me vigilant towards my journey as well.

I wish everyone a fantastic weekend, and to the Namibians, a great LONG weekend

Till next time!


  1. How refreshing Phoenix. I thought you had given up on blogging or something.. Welcome back, it's great to see you so full of energy and motivation to get back on track again!!

  2. YOU'RE BASIC!!!

    SHE'S BACK Y'ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Can you tell that you were missed? LOL.

    Girl, I totally understand. It can be really frustrating when you lose your relaxed hair muse so I'm really glad that you honed your inner hair-inspiration and went back to doing what greatly benefited your hair/lifestyle. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. Because at the end of the day the only person that has to wear your hair is you!

    Welcome back and thanks for joining the #washdayexperience!

    KLP @

  3. Welcome back. I had missed seeing you online. I love your regimen, it's similar to my current one. I know you'll nail all your journeys

  4. Aaaaawwwww, thanks ladies! Making me feel all warm and gooey inside!