Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Status Quo

I have a friend. Years ago I described her as a good friend, in fact we've been friends since the 4th grade. We literally grew up together. We graduated high school together and we even went on to law school at the same time, albeit at different universities.

Then there came a time that I felt that she didn't appreciate me as a friend. I felt that I was the one calling her up all the time, whilst not receiving a phone call in return the next week. I felt that my ideas were never good enough, because we always ended up doing what she wanted. (Granted, she was the only one with a car at the time, but damn it, even the girl in the back seat would like a choice in the matter once in a while) I felt that I was doing all the work, that she wasn't putting in any effort into the relationship, and slowly but surely I started forming a new circle of friends and spent less and less time with her.

And so the years went by and times changed even more. Now she's married with two beautiful daughters and although I'm engaged, I'm nowhere near the domesticated wife and mother that she has become.(Irony, she's still a career woman as well. But yeah, my point is that my life is more than just my work and my home.) I have no regrets, and I certainly do not wish that I had her life, great as it might be.

As the years went by, I actually forgot why we drifted apart in the first place (I felt neglected in our friendship) and put it on the fact that our lives are solar systems apart. Today, I start to wonder, am I perhaps doing the same thing to other friends that I perceived her doing to me? Even back then, our lives were already very different, so did she "neglect" me because she had other priorities and I didn't see it? And am I now neglecting people due to a shift in my priorities? Do they feel neglected? Is the status quo reasonable? I do not regret where am in my life, and I do not regret who I am and how I got here. I'm just wondering if I'm doing the right thing, right now, regarding my relationships.

Tomorrow my doubts may be gone, like the fog before the sun. But today they're plaguing me.

No comments:

Post a Comment