Goals for the month to come

The first month of spring is over and we are experiencing hotter and hotter weather, but the humidity levels have not quite risen as much as I hoped and thus I am experiencing a little dryness, which I will be focusing on for the month of October. 

I'm gonna keep this short, so as to not overload myself, as exams are also around the corner. 

• Moisturize and seal twice a day. I have become lazy in this department, only sealing in the evenings, and I need to do it more than that, I can feel it. 
• Continue rocking the knot outs but pro-actively learn how to do them with less manipulation and a softer touch. The knot outs hide my true length, and I think it's good
• Get back to basics - MY basics. I have been gallivanting with a million different products, trying everything new, experimenting, become a junkie. I'm going to scale down big time and get back to my staples - Pantene Shampoo and Conditioner, ORS Hair Mayonnaise, Pantene Moisturizing DC, coconut oil, castor oil, ORS Hair Fertilizer, ORS Glossing Polisher, roller setting. I believe that I will get more consistent results with these base products and a consistent approach. 
• Moisturizing DC once to twice a week, ONE protein DC for the month. I've experienced over load before, the memory still haunts me, and I am not making the same mistake again! 
• Scalp massages with the castor oil the night before wash days, intense massages, especially around the hairline. Followed with overnight coconut oil prepoo. 
• BABY my nape. I've been having some bad breakage and it needs to stop! It's messing with my mojo.
• NO HEAT for the entire month. NONE. 

The ultimate goal is that I need the front half of my hair to catch up with the back, my nape to stop breaking and my hairline to fill out even more. Hot on the heels of that, I want retention without obsessing, thus hiding the true length for at least another month. I want my hair to feel soft and lush and nourished. And I want to STOP spending SO much money on hair products, OMG, it's ridiculous. 

So, those are my goals for October. Regarding this immediate weekend, I'm going to the hottest party in town - rocking the bantu knot out, fierce make up, and a head turning outfit. Will attempt pics, decent ones this time. Happy Friday everybody, and blessed weekend!!

Black Vulcanite and post weekend update

Good morning everybody, and I hope y'all are having a better Monday than me. I'm all snotty and congested and this fuzzy head feeling is not conducive to a good mood. 

Regarding the weekend, it was such a blast being at the Black Vulcanite video shoot party. I can't wait for the video to premiere. Although these boys are young, I believe that they are firmly on the road to real success, as long as they continue to work as hard as they are now. Of course, with their momager, the awesome and stylish Ms Manetti by their side, only good things I predict will come their way. 

Yesterday I was so lazy and a little lethargic that I spent most of the day watching Grey's Anatomy and wondering why it is that women allow themselves to go crazy over one of two things - a man or their career. It always seems to be one of the two. I believe my friend Stiletto Rambler will probably broach the topic at some stage, because it is somewhat perplexing to me, maybe because I believe that one can have it all. Of course Grey's Anatomy is simply a story, the figment of someone's imagination, but quite a few of the story lines have a way of tugging at one's subconscious, of being relatable to one's own life. It could simply be due to good writing or good acting, or it could be that the issues are very real to many people. I don't know, I'm rambling.

Nevertheless, the weekend was an absolute blast!! I apologise for the lack of pics, considering that I made so much effort with my hair this weekend and I laid out all of my plans beforehand, but I am pleased to report that everything did come out awesome, my hair being full and lively and getting mucho compliments. The outfit was very spring focused, including a colourful boobtube and purple waterfall cardi. I felt good (snotty but good) and according to my friends, I looked good. 

I realised that I need to stock up on a moisturizing DC, a moisturizing shampoo and a light protein DC, like ORS Hair Mayonnaise, and very soon. I haven't done a hair haul in a while and I have actually been using up quite a bit of my current stash. I strongly believe that I will be FULL shoulder length by the end of the year, which is my ultimate goal for 2012. Then we'll start working on 2013 and where to go at that stage. In the meantime I need to be consistent and continue caring and loving and the results will be more and more evident as time goes by. 

That's it for now folks. Have an awesome Monday, and a blessed week!

Edit: Got a pic folks, I'm with my awesome friend Ashante and one third of Black Vulcanite, AliThatDude. Feel the awesomeness emanate from this pic :-) 

History and being conscious of it

You are who you were...

The choices and decisions that you have made in the past directly affect who and what you are now...

One cannot be angry at someone else or blame circumstances for the life that you are living. Yes, some things are out of our control, some things we must leave to God and the fates, but we are in so much control, but we relinquish that control so easily, we are scared of the responsibility attached to it. We fear having to OWN who we are and what we do. And as adults it is exactly what what we're supposed to do. 

For example, I am not where I wanted to be at this age in my career. I'm still doing grunt work, while many of peers are in management already. I'm still the office gofer, while my peers in my field are becoming partners in their respective firms. I still live in a tiny bachelor's apartment, while others are buying property. But I know that nobody caused my current circumstances but me, and I own it, for I have had experiences that quite a few of my peers have not. I have traveled more, I have seen more, I have experienced more. I annoy the hell out of my friends sometimes when we're watching a movie and then I suddenly shout out "I was there! I saw that place up close and personal, it was so cool!" 

At the same time I am now very aware that the decisions I make today WILL affect my life tomorrow, and it can be across the range. Party a little too hard on Friday equals feeling like absolute horse crap on Saturday. Spend too much money at the beginning of the month equals being ridiculously broke 2 weeks before pay day already. Eat too much over lunch equals feeling bloated afterwards and probably also gaining an extra pound or two. Skip the gym too often equals not losing that extra pound or two. Not working hard equals pissing off your boss and putting your professional career in jeopardy. Not studying hard enough equals poor marks which puts a dent in your academic career. 

Like Einstein said, every action has an equal and opposite reaction, and thus I believe that we must become much more conscious of our daily, weekly, monthly actions instead of blaming and shaming everyone else. Your LIFE is YOUR responsibility. Even if things happen that are beyond your control, what IS in your control is how you handle it, how you react to it, how you deal with it. Even if it means simply acknowledging that BS is happening and that you'll get through it somehow, such as the fact that I expect service from a service provider, and I expect quick efficient service especially if I iterate  that it's urgent and I needed it done yesterday. Yes, it's not really fair to put pressure on someone due a delay caused by something out of your control. But it is fair to expect courteousness and understanding. And I didn't get it. I could jump up and down, stomp my foot, become a nasty human being who's never going to get anywhere with this service provided EVER. Or I can smile, say thank you, walk out with head high and then blow up his superior's phone. I opted for the latter, and my blood pressure thanks me.  We're entering the weekend and I refuse that some stuck up bureaucrat spoil my day or my weekend. 

Now, I will end this by turning this entire life reality towards hair care (this is after all partly a journal chronicling my hair journey). What one does today, will be evident tomorrow. I had a thought earlier about how my mom took care of my hair as a kid and what the hell happened after I moved away to varsity, the differences in our approaches and the resultant effects. And I realised that my mom had some good practices, which I could replicate a bit now as an adult, of course altering it a little bit, and some I have already. Heat usage is minimal, roller setting is the norm and a good slippy conditioner is a staple. What I can reincorporate from my childhood would be more low to now manipulation hairstyles and gentler detangling. (Yeah, I struggle with it a bit more now that I actually have longer hair to deal with) What's new now which I never did as a kid is pre-pooing, deep conditioning and daily moisturizing, all of which I'm going to amp up, as I want luscious hair sooner rather than later. 

There is NO easy way to reach ANY goal, whether it be in life, work, play or even your hair. What I do now will be evident tomorrow, and thus, I plan to, in all areas of my life, be more conscious of my actions and decisions, as I truly want the BEST life I can have. 

Weekend hair plans

I haven't had a big post regarding my hair in a while, and I suspect that I'm actually suffering the consequences. My hair is not feeling very soft and nourished at the moment, and I know now that the reason for that is the fact that I have not been keep stricter tabs on myself. I'm experiencing breakage and I suspect it might be a little bit of a setback considering that I'm only 3 weeks post and I'm not supposed to be having these issues, well not in my mind at least. So, I'm going to go a little drastic and a little OCD on myself, because I love the fact that I've gained quite a bit of length in the past 6 months, but I want it healthy and happy. So mini challenges:

• moisturize and seal twice a day
• keep hands out of hair during the day
• DC twice a week WITH heat
• wear hair pinned and protectively every day till end of October, even if in a knot out or braid out or roller set - pin up and bun!

There will be one exception to that last bullet. I'm planning on wearing my hair out this coming Saturday as I'll be at a very cool event, the shoot of Black Vulcanite's first music video! So here's my plan regarding my tresses on Saturday, cause a girl has got to look GOOD:

• wake up nice and early, clean the apartment and then start with a prepoo with warm coconut oil, for at least the length of two or three Grey's Anatomy episodes. Make a pot of black tea with mint leaves added, have a cup, let the rest cool down.
• Wash hair with ORS Creamy Aloe, slightly diluted, rinsing properly. 
• Rinse with the tea
• DC hair with a mixture of Pantene Repair and Protect, Give Me Moisture, ORS Masque and coconut oil, with a hot towel, for the duration of another two episodes, at least. 
• Rinse the DC and tea out and brace myself and give a final rinse with VERY cold water. 
• Put in my leave in's of Avon 3D Rescue and ORS Glossing Polisher. 
• Roller set, and have it air dry while continuing with Grey's Anatomy. (Yes, it's a new obsession for me people, and I love it!)
• When completely dry, lightly moisturize and seal and wrap.
• Find an outfit, do my make up, all with Grey's in the background. 
• About half an hour before having to leave for the party, take down wrap and lightly and gently iron my hair on a low heat
• Leave the house with BOUNCE!

Anybody else have weekend plans yet? 

Letting go...easier said than done

Well good morning world. The weekend has been a mish mash of experiences and feelings, and thoughts that sometimes simply did not make sense. Essentially, it's easy to know what your hard limits are, what you will not tolerate. It's easier to formulate in your head the positive, to know exactly what you do want and what you desire. One thing that I've known about myself forever is that I am attracted to intelligence and wit, the kind that some people may find weird or disconcerting. It makes me wonder why in the world I was with someone for the longest time who was not in my league, neither intellectually, culturally or socially. 

We were simply a wrong fit, but I fell hook line and sinker and today I can't say why. I don't know what I fell in love with, perhaps it was the idea of love more than anything else of him. Maybe I was very deeply in love with the idea of actually committing to someone, of being in a stable relationship, of becoming a "grown-up". Well, it turned out that he was not stable and thus the relationship itself wasn't stable, in fact, it was downright stormy as the end neared. I think back at that time and although there were good, happy times, it's very hard for me to remember those clearly, when the bad, shitty times are so vivid in my mind's eye. It's tremendously difficult for me to own up to myself, because I should realised long before the end was glaringly obvious to the world that I was in a toxic situation and that I needed to extract myself from it. In the end I did and technically I'm free. 

But, since we're being honest, is one ever truly free after having gone through something like this? How does one truly get rid of the poison that still course through my veins? Many people would answer that forgiveness is the answer, that forgiveness is for me and not the other person, it's to free me and not him. My head tells me that it's the right answer and that I should forgive him and let him go, that I should not have the burden of bad memories weighing me down. My heart on the other hand wishes to smite and avenge itself, to plan plots of destruction against the person who hurt me. But revenge is a difficult game, it requires patience and a resolve of steel, and more commitment than anything one can imagine. 

He's not worth all of that effort. He's simply worthy of being a castaway with no hope of rescue. I am worthy of so much more than pain and nightmares. I realise now that I can let go a little more each day, but it's still not easy. I understand why people end up in rebound situations now. I understand it, but I don't want it, otherwise I'll never heal completely and thoroughly. What I want and need is time, time to process, time to forgive, time to let go. And I need to give MYSELF that time. No one else will, it's up to me. 

The weekend is upon us!

It's Friday everybody and I am planning on getting some rest and having a good time in the next 72 hours. In my last post I mentioned how I now like curls and how I'm going to try new things? Well, everybody that knows me, know that I'm not a pink person, but I have this little pink trench that I got on sale for an absolute steal, and today I'm rocking it with a knot out that could not be more perfect.

That's all for today everybody. Have an AWESOME weekend!!

Trying new things

One of the most awful tings in life is getting stuck in a rut. Whether the rut exists at work, at your business, in your social life, in your relationship, it is an indication of an imbalance, and primarily of YOU, who is in the rut, being lazy and not busting out of your own rut. I am speaking from personal experience, having experienced many different ruts, and only getting out of it after I made a concerted effort. One must take responsibility for your own life, you cannot expect others to help you out of your rut. 

Now, with that being said, I know that I have been in a styling rut for a while. My hair is growing and the retention is there, but also, it's now at an awkward stage where I had NO idea what to do with it except EZ comb and bunning, until recently. I did a side french braid a la Katniss Everdeen. I still need a LOT of practice with that one though, and MORE hair, lol. 

I actually did a bantu knot out and it came out cute!! I'm wearing my hair straight today for the first time in almost a week, which is VERY rare for me, because my entire life I would wear my hair straight and stretched for the simple reason that I believed, into my core, that curls did not suit me. Well, glory hallelujah, I was wrong and it is giving me more hope and vigor to try even more NEW things, with my hair, my workout schedule, my make up, my wardrobe. And lastly, after my first summer swim of the new season, my hair turned into a nice big wavy do, which I'm going to attempt to recreate soon. 

Now, I think it may be very much overdue to post some pics. I would love to hear what everybody thinks and on how to improve the styles and on suggestions for other styles to try. I apologise for the picture quality, hopefully they're clear enough for y'all to get the idea. 

Side french braid a la Katniss Everdeen. 

First successful bantu knot out

Knot out lightly pinned at the sides

Tighter knot out, also slightly pinned at the sides

BIG hair after a swim and lying in the sun

So, what new things have YOU been trying lately?

Getting back in the groove of things

Yes, spring time means more energy, more sunlight during the day and summer is around the corner bringing with it short skirts, strapless tops and dresses and bathing suits. Spring time also means that for the first time in 3-4 months one actually LOOKS at your naked body (it's too chilly in winter to examine - out the bath, into warm pj's!!) and realise that you've gone and turned into the Michelin Man  or Pillsbury Dough Boy during the months of Fall and Winter. Damn you clam chowder!! 

Regardless, spring also means that one actually has renewed vigor and renewed inspiration to be in the gym and work it! I know I do. So, the plan is simple - work out at least 5 days a week, eat PLENTY of veggies and salads and fruits, up the protein and decrease the carbs, and drink water like I'm being paid. 

Regarding my hair whilst working out - get a VERY cheap conditioner for co-washing (shampoo wash only twice a week), start trying twist outs and braid out, and protective styling up the yazoo. I just realised, I should get a sweatband! 

Goals regarding weight loss and health - lose 6-8 pounds by the end of September, gain 5-8% muscle mass during the same time period, bring down blood pressure by 10 points, reduce resting heart rate by 15beats per minute. Goals regarding hair - retain every millimeter of growth, reduce breakage currently being experienced and UP,UP,UP the moisturizing. 

So, here I go. 

In need of a new wardrobe!!

To all the ladies out there, don't you just hate it when the new season rolls around and you look at your wardrobe and you just feels the good mood you woke up with fly right out the window? That has been me for the past few days. Yes, the weather is lovely. Yes, I can pack away the chunky sweaters and thick socks. The sad part...I also pack away my boots, scarves and coats, the clothing items necessary for winter and which I LOVE. Now that's spring's here and the season of exposed skin is back, all I can see is how pudgy I got over winter (yes, I'm back in the gym already, but still) and how freaking WHITE I am. My thighs look like those of a ghost and the blue veins shining through on my arms make me feel like a poor rendition of a Jackson Polluck! The biggest issue though, every freaking morning - what in the name of Zeus am I going to wear??? So I found some lovely ideas on Pinterest and in the coming weeks will attempt to recreate them with what I currently have in my closet and then start hitting the sales. Here's a bit of a visual:

Now to rummage through my closet, find the existing items and be creative!! Have a good week all!

Spring...and wanderlust!!

Good morning people, and happy Spring time. Although, let's be honest, in this beautiful country of ours, there is TWO seasons, those being Summer and Winter. Autumn and Spring are illusions which we would love to buy into but we actually only feel them once the sun goes down, since the days are already cooking. All said and done we all adjusted our clocks yesterday as it was the end of daylight saving and me personally...my body and internal clock takes about 3 days to adjust to a ONE hour adjustment on the clock. Now can you imagine the pain and agony I go through whenever I fly through a number of time zones?? I have the worst jet lag ever!

Regardless of having the worst jet lag, the wanderlust has me by the throat, and since I can't go anywhere anytime soon, I've been drooling about the following places for the past couple of weeks. I'm putting it out there and the Universe in it's infinite wisdom will show me the way on how to get there. Anyone else wanna go anywhere?

LAS VEGAS

AMSTERDAM

JAMAICA

PARIS

NYC

Have a good Monday everybody!!

First wash after touch up

Freshly relaxed hair is such a joy to work with. Detangling takes next to no effort and it just feels as if product application is easier as it gets to every strand. The first wash day after a fresh touch up to me is always fun, but I think I made a little mistake on this one. It was not a train smash, not in the slightest, but I also learned a little something. More on that later. 

Okay, to quickly go through the process:

• Pre-poo hot oil treatment with coconut oil for almost 2 hours. spent it watching Spartacus. Oooh la la!
• Shampooed with my Avon Moisturizing Shampoo, trying my best to massage my scalp and have the run off cleanse the length. 
• I blotted as much water from my hair before applying VO5 Give Me Moisture Conditioner, a new product I'm trying out, and I loved it immediately. Thick and creamy in texture, light in fragrance and gives plenty of slip. I put on quite a bit, detangled and combed it through and then continued with the rest of y bathroom duties. 
• Rinsed the conditioner and my hair felt SO soft. I think I have FINALLY corrected the protein overload I gave myself a few weeks back. 
• And here's where the mistake came in. I applied my leave in's, ORS Olive Oil Glossing Polisher and Avon 3D Rescue Leave In treatment, and I think I applied too much product unwittingly, which I discovered later. 
• Roller set, air dried and when I took out the rollers I realized that I did indeed put in too much product. My hair felt weighed down and heavy instead of light and bouncy. Soft - yes, well moisturized - yes, shiny - yes, light and bouncy - no. 

Lesson learned - the amount of product needed when one is freshly relaxed is no where near as much as when you're deep into a stretch. The rest of the routine was awesome though and I will replicate it next wash day and just tweak the leave in prior to roller setting so as to get the bounciness back. 

Till next time, have an awesome day everyone

Longest stretch yet - 14 weeks

Good morning everybody. It's been a minute since I did a decent HHJ update, so here goes.

Last week Friday, on the 24th of August, I finally got around to relaxing my hair at 14 weeks post, which has been my longest stretch yet, and in all honesty, I must admit that I doubt that I would stretch for that long again, unless I can truly learn how to baby and pamper my new growth, because I in this stretch I experienced breakage around the demarcation line and I was NOT happy about it. The breakage was not extreme and I still maintained my retention rate of about 2-3cm during the stretch, but one of my goals is to have breakage and shedding to an absolute minimum, so during the next 12 weeks or so I am going to focus on that. 

Now, to rewind a little to Friday, I must say that I think that I have my PERFECT relaxing kit, which is the ORS Olive Oil Relaxer kit for GIRLS. As you know from my previous posts I have always been more partial to the formulations for the young ones, but for the longest time I've grabbed the Dark & Lovely Beautiful Beginnings box. I am now officially changing over. The ORS kit is simply awesome. The relaxer itself, after mixing it with the activator is a smoother consistency and smells MUCH more pleasant. the kit includes not only a jelly for basing one's scalp, but also a wheatgerm oil based protectant for previously relaxed hair to assist in preventing over processing. It includes nicer, better fitting latex gloves as well as a shower cap to assist with the deep conditioning step. All in all, a great product, and bang for your buck. 

Okay, now to get to the actual relaxing:

• Based my scalp with the provided jelly and covered previously relaxed hair with the provided oil (which smells nice as well)
• Applied the relaxer with the help of a friend. Application and smoothing time was between 12-15 minutes, I'm not entirely sure. Scalp did not burn at all, but 30 seconds prior to rinsing I felt my nape starting to tingle just a little. 
• Rinsed as thoroughly as I could before first shampoo with ORS Creamy Aloe Moisturizing Shampoo. 
• Shampooed and rinsed with the neutralizing shampoo twice and then did a mid protein step with ORS Hair Mayonnaise for about five minutes, after which I shampooed and rinsed with the neutralizing shampoo another 4 or 5 times. My legs were WAY shaky and wobbly from being bent over the bath tub when  finally finished rinsing. 
• Applied the DC provided in the kit, put on the shower cap and then just chilled for about 20 minutes whilst I had a cup of coffee with my friend. 
• Rinsed the DC (hair felt so soft and smelled so heavenly!) and then applied a little Bone Strait as leave in and proceeded to roller set. During the roller set I realized exactly how much my hair has grown because I used ONLY big orange rollers, which are maybe 1 and half inches in diameter, which I have not been able to do before now, EVER. 
• Had my hair airdry in the rollers for about half an hour and then dried it further with a blow drier. After removing the rollers, my friend straightened it with her GHD iron using few quick passes and then I was good to go. 

My hair felt way smooth, moisturized and had SO much movement. I went out clubbing afterwards and got SO many compliments. I seriously trust that I will not use another product again for my touch ups again. Sorry for the lack of pics, will ask another friend that we do a little photo shoot soon with decent pics taken by a killer CANON camera. 

Movie mania!

I am a self confessed addict of modern cinema. I watch everything, except of course if it's soooooooooo artistic that it bores me to tears. Here's my philosophy - when I enter a cinema, rent a DVD or watch a movie on TV I want to be, nay, NEED to be entertained! I wish to leave my brain at the door and have fun, and walk out smiling. Yes, yes, once in a while I'll watch something a little deeper and intellectual, but if I TRULY want intellectual and deep, I pick up a book and read.

Now, regarding the movie mania, I have finally acquired a few films which I have been DYING to see, since the opportunity escaped me whilst they were playing on the big screen. And just because I can, I would like to post a review or two.

First off, let's start with The Hunger Games. I read the trilogy in a matter of days and then got my hands on the movie. First off, let me say that I am looking forward to catching fire as much as any Hunger Games fan. With regards to the film, it's to be expected that an adaptation VERY rarely lives up to the book. We've all experienced it with the myriad of book to film adaptations during the past decade. This adaptation was however very well done, and in my opinion can stand alone without one having had read the books. Of course, by not reading the books, you will be depriving yourself of the deeper and subtle nuances.

Regardless, I digress. I will not be going into the plot too much, but I must say that it's amazing how one can fall in love with a story which basically deals with a bunch of teenagers killing one another for the entertainment of others. In the same vein, it made me think, "How in the hell would I survive the Hunger Games?" The portrayal of the characters was on par, especially by Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss and Josh Hutcherson as Peeta. It was brilliant because the sometimes uneasy feelings I had whilst reading the book, I experienced in a similar fashion whilst watching the movie. The dialogue felt slightly stinted at times, but not overly so, considering that especially Katniss spends a great deal of her time within the arena alone. This film has the ability to move you, to sweep you along and leave you with a dull ache as you crave more. The scenes with Rue can cause anyone to newly appreciate a baby sister and the cave scene is simply special. Of course it can be labeled as romantic, but it's so much deeper than that, it has more layers than that and it's one of the scenes that made you feel slightly uneasy and aching for more all at the same time.

Lastly I must stress that whomever has the audacity to compare this to Twilight - wake up! I am not hating on Twilight at all but the comparisons are unfair and out of context. I personally would rate The Hunger Games a solid eight out of ten, as it surpassed my expectations and am very much looking forward to Catching Fire.

Next up, The Avengers. Yes, I know, I know, I know, I've been living under a rock, so sue me. In any event I have been looking forward to it for AGES and finally had the opportunity to watch it and I LOVE it!!!! I cannot stress how much I love this movie. It has EVERYTHING that I look for in an action movie. Lots of explosions and hand to hand combat, lots of icky monsters from other worlds, lots of witty dialogue between the lead characters and lots of FUN, but not without a few slightly deeper aspects. Each actor encompassed their parts fully and expertly. Of course they had some practice with all of the previous tie in films, all except Mark Ruffalo, who in my opinion was brilliant as Bruce Banner/The Hulk, one of my favorite lines being his - "That's just it Ms Romanov, I'm always angry." I swear I had goose bumps! I loved the conflict between the characters prior to them actually assembling and working as a team, the banter between them was priceless. I apologise, I know that I'm gushing, but I had a MASSIVE smile on my face through out the whole thing except of course when that big loss occurred, the catalyst for them finally pulling it together. I'm not the kind of person to post spoilers, even if the whole world has already seen it, just in case someone else lived in a cave for the past year.

With regards to the story line and the flow of the film, it seemed effortless. Of course, if one did not see any of the previous tie in Marvel films, you might feel a little bombarded with a lot of new information, but I seriously doubt that anyone who has watched this film did not watch the others. Loki is in my mind a perfect villain, partly due to his delusions of grandeur and narcissism. The interactions between him and Tony is in my mind some of the most memorable, of course due to the fact that Tom Hiddleston and Robert Downey Jr deliver their lines with such ease and wit that one cannot look away. In terms of character development, I think that of Steve Rogers/Captain America will capture anyone's heart, considering that essentially he's a very lost young man coming to grips with the reality that he lives in. Chris Evans in my mind did a very good job in this respect, especially considering the timely bursts of humor.

I am very much looking forward to the sequel, as well as any upcoming gems that Marvel has to offer. On it's own The Avengers will remain in my collection for as long as is possible and I rate it nine out of ten. Pure unadulterated pleasure!

Anybody else watch anything fun lately??

Entertainment and relaxation - how, where, what?

Good morning everybody. and the good vibes keep on flowing. Life is good, spring is on the way and I'm enjoying a yummy sandwich :-)

Yes, I am going to talk about entertainment, and the fact that it is necessary regardless of age, gender, social class or background. Yes, the prior mentioned can have an effect on what types of entertainment each and every individual prefers, but at the end of the day the point is that everyone needs and deserves a little play time.

I have always been a very social person. I loved clubbing and bar hopping, house parties and frat parties. As long as I was around people I felt as if I was in my element. As the years have moved on my preferences have changed. Instead of bar hopping, I visit one pub/restaurant on the regular. Instead of clubbing I go to concerts and independent film showings and comedy shows. Instead of crazy house parties we now have dinner parties and barbecues. And I still love every minute primarily because of the people I enjoy it with. (Friends give you wings, not Red Bull)

I do however live in a small city and unfortunately the options aren't very varied for those younger in years who would find the dinner parties and stylish pub excruciatingly boring. The clubs aren't what they used to be (part of the reason I don't go to a club often anymore) and there are precious few options if you're actually looking for something to do during the day. No bowling alleys, no mini golf courses. No public library (not for the past few years due to "renovations" in any event) and no gaming arcades. So...these limitations exist and what happens? Teenagers and young adults recreate Project X, consumption of alcohol and drugs run rampant among the younger generation (good grief I sound old) and a sense of hopelessness descends.

The truth of the matter is that EVERYONE needs to be entertained and needs to be able to relax in whatever way they choose. What is crucial though is that the choices need to be expanded. Essentially, how can you know what you like if the only choices you have is (in your mind) sit at home or go to a club/pub/bar and (most probably) drink? How can you know yourself if you're not aware of the other options beyond that which you've never tried? People allow themselves to be limited by their own lack of imagination and sense of fun, and I believe it's largely because of our consumer driven lives, our need for instant gratification, our need to be given instead of us giving.

So, where am I going with this? First of all, if you focus on everything else BUT how to truly relax, then you don't know how, and you'll probably die of a heart attach before reaching 40. Being a workaholic is not a pretty sight, and you're not the only one who suffers.

Secondly, entertainment and relaxation isn't dependent on  going out and spending money. One of the coolest, most relaxing and most entertaining days of my life happened a few years ago, when me and a bunch of friends were sitting around the house on a Sunday. We just finished watching a movie and felt a little bored. Of course going out was out of the question, it was a Sunday afternoon, so the options outside the house were even fewer. So we ended up playing hide-and-seek. A bunch of ADULTS playing hide-and-seek for a good few hours, and it was SO much fun. That night I slept like a baby and the next day had a GOOD Monday at work, no blues to speak of. My point - playfulness is NOT reserved for actual children exclusively.

Thirdly, I'm part of the generation that is bringing the new generation into the world. I'm surrounded by weddings, pregnancies and toddlers. I go to kiddie birthday parties and baby showers. Essentially I believe that my generation should start filling the gaps that exist today with regards to entertainment so that our kids, when they become teenagers don't feel the need to turn to stuff we didn't even dream of when we were their age. We're the generation who can reteach our kids how to play outside and hide the gaming consoles and how to use their minds. So that they don't feel stifled by their lack of options.

Lastly, we need to rethink how we relax. Personally, I have experienced a bit of a reset the past couple of weeks. I started reading again, and ferociously. Two trilogies in a matter of 2 weeks. Of course I still went for a night cap at Garlic and Flowers, and I still attended parties, and I LOVE my sanity sessions with my soul sisters, but I have fallen in love all over again with my first love - books. And I have been sleeping better and feeling better and lighter, and essentially less stressed and more RELAXED.

So what was YOUR first love? Playing sports? Music? Books? Lying in the sun and getting a tan? (Yes, sometimes just being plain old lazy is all the relaxation one needs.) What makes you sleep better at night? What slows your heart beat and removes the anxiety? How do you entertain YOURSELF when you're ALONE? What is clear is that we need to rediscover ourselves and know ourselves, and thus know how we need what we need and in what measures we need it.

I feel good, nanananaaaa!!!

Yes, I do!!! Which is a rare thing on a Monday. But my weekend was too damn awesome for the good feelings to not be transferred to this Monday morning. 

Let's recap. 

Friday started with my friend and soul sister's birthday party. It was chilled out and relaxed, while we still had a lot of fun chatting, getting back to basics and playing cards. Whilst there I realized again how lucky I am to have the friends that I do. It's like being enveloped in a down comforter. And Julio's soup was the bomb!!! The night ended at our preferred haunt, Garlic and Flowers, for a night cap with my other soul sister Ashante, and a catalyst for the smile on my face that lasted ALL weekend long. But I am SO not going to jinx this, so this is where I shut up. :-)

Saturday was taken up by the birthday party of the now 2 year old Zen, and we were surrounded by toddlers, which although cute, made me realize exactly how much of a kid I myself am not anymore. Regardless, it was so much fun. A further continuation of spending time with good friends, good food (Chanty, that curry, yummy!!!) and counting one's blessings. 

The rest of the weekend I was absolutely engrossed in the Hunger Games Trilogy. My inner nerd was in the best mood, I finished all 3 books in a matter of days, a full week has not gone by yet since I purchased them. I was transported to another world, and I actually felt as if I experienced the Games myself. I CAN'T WAIT to see the first film. (I avoided seeing it until I read the books. Personal little rule) Now of course, I'm a little sad, I actually FINISHED the whole trilogy. I'm seriously considering reading them all over again, slowly, since I simply devoured them now. 

Oh yeah, and then a little hair update. I could touch up, so now it's scheduled for this coming weekend at 14weeks post. My NG is driving me a little crazy, so last night I dry DC'd with Pantene Repair and Protect mask for almost 2 hours, then washed with my Avon Moisturizing Shampoo, detangled with Tresseme Moisturizing Conditioner and rinsed, Quick protein Treatment with ORS Olive Oil Intense Repair Masque (which STILL gives no slip and makes my hair feel a little hard, I officially DON'T like this product) and then after rinsing that conditioned again with Pantene smooth and Silky Moisturizing Conditioner while I finished the rest of my shower duties, lol. I then put in Avon 3D Rescue Leave-in Treatment, mixed with ORS Glossing Polisher serum and proceeded to roller set whilst watching True Blood and spritzing my hair with a mix of water, a TINY bit of Aussie Mega Moisture Conditioner and a TEENSY bit of glycerin as I went along. I let my hair airdry in the rollers for about two hours before taking the dryer to them on the mild setting, as it was getting late and I refuse to sleep with rollers, it's too painful and distracting. My roots are WAY thick, so although my hair felt soft coming out of the rollers, I prefer it to be manageable, so I flat ironed (one pass) and wrapped and went to bed. This morning my hair is actually BEHAVING and I am having the best day so far. It feels soft and it's bouncy. I need to look for cute pins though, as much as I'm loving my retention, I need bigger clips now for my protective styles, which is awesome!!! 

Yes, it might just be hair, but it's also a woman's crown and these days, I'm actually liking my own. :-)

Trying something new...hairwise

I know it's been a minute, but between exams and feeling listless, the opportunity to blog wasn't there. However, I do think that it's high time to give a bit of a hair update. Unfortunately, I won't be posting pics now, but I plan to post quite a few soon. This one I'm keeping short and simple.

Okay, what my hair is currently doing is driving me a little CRAZY. I'm 13 weeks post and I'm planning on touching up this weekend, but all things considered, that is not guaranteed. It is needed though. I'm starting to experience additional breakage, especially around the demarcation point and it is quite disheartening. Also, my hair feels brittle, such as if caused by a protein overload, despite the moisturizing conditioners and daily moisturizing and sealing. This past wash day I used 3, yes, T-H-R-E-E conditioners - my Aussie, Tresseme and Pantene, and my hair STILL didn't feel soft as I was roller setting. I'm thinking of washing my hair tonight and to do a DC with heat for at least a good hour, just to check if it makes a freaking difference.

Styling wise, I've been trying a few new things, that being flat twists in front and bunning in the back and pinning up my hair using hair grips. My experiences are that my head does not like my hair being pulled back tight for a long time, more than 4 hours being too long. My head started aching, so flat twists will be reserved for going out to dinner and not for going to work! The pinning...I'm still learning,but I'm getting compliments, so I'm doing something right :-)

Lastly, I've come to realise that I truly do not like winter. It's still freezing, and spring is supposed to be around the corner. What gives? I'll take warm and humid over cold and dry any day, and I suspect my hair readily agrees. So, come on SUMMER!

An aftershock of note

I have considered myself to have been moving on. In fact, I have been feeling rather good about my personal progress, avoiding carrying a grudge and acknowledging any feelings which may come over me so as to not have those feelings crush me. I have been getting back to my life, and I have put my priorities back in order. I have been feeling happy again.

Unfortunately, certain people have the emotional range of a teaspoon, and a bent rusty tea spoon at that, turning to devices of carrying grudges, exacting revenge and slanderous comments and rumours about yours truly. I am still so shocked at this that I have not truly reacted to it, not really. I do feel the effect of it though.

A terrible fatigue has enveloped me since this morning, even though I slept like a baby. I feel tired and my limbs feel incredibly heavy. My hair is pinned up, but honestly, it doesn't look as put together as always, and today, I don't really care that much. It's protected, so it'll survive. My eyes barely stay open and instead of racing across the keyboard, my fingers feel as if they're filled with lead and every word is a struggle to get out.

This has nothing to do with the fact that the relationship is over, but it does have everything to do with the fact that one can still be shocked and hurt by the other's actions in the aftermath. The main quake has subsided, this is an aftershock, which registers quite high on the damn Richter scale. How could you spread such vicious lies?! You kiss your mother with that mouth? How dare you put my career in jeopardy?! Did you ever care at all? Or was it simply an obsession, as I rightly suspected during the finishing stretch of the "relationship" in any event? Have you always been this warped in your perception, or was I just a blind fool who did not want to acknowledge that I'm sleeping with the ENEMY???

Now here's the sixty four thousand dollar question - what did I learn from this? I learned that looks can be hella deceiving. I learned that you can never truly realise how unhinged someone can be. I've learned that I need to listen to my gut at all times. It speaks louder than my heart and my head combined, it speaks truth. I've learned that rules are there for a reason and are not to be broken. Yes, at heart I'm a rebel, but look what breaking my OWN rules got me??? Never again. I've learned, more than ever before, that friends are wonderful and a blessing, existing in many different guises. I've learned that, if in doubt, DON'T!! I've learned that I can handle the pain and that I'm stronger for it. And I've learned that when something seems to good to be true, then it SIMPLY IS. I've learned that prayer gives me strength. And I've learned that I am not responsible for anyone's happiness, nor am I the pack rat who must carry someone else's baggage. Last, but not least in any way sense or form, I've learned that one cannot reason with a narcissistic, chauvinistic, unhinged, controlling, possessive, jealous megalomaniac. Even when you see the good in them, the bad WILL start to outweigh it, they WILL be found wanting at the end of the day, and your heart WILL be broken. so, don't even try. Recognize and RUN!!!! I know I should have...long before now...long before this.

Pretty little liars

We pride ourselves on being honest and open, about people getting what they see and that they should not have unreasonable expectations. We make it clear that we are flawed and that we make mistakes. We also make it clear that change will not happen at the drop of a hat and definitely not at the instance of someone else. We believe firmly that change comes fro within and not because someone else wants it.

That's all GREAT. And also a BIG, FAT lie! Because we are liars. We are so adept at lying that we believe our own lies. Someone asks us how we're doing, we smile and say that we're good. And we believe it! We feel happy, and we laugh and joke with colleagues and friends. We put in a bit of effort to look as good as we feel, by putting on some make up and looking after out hair and making sure that our outfit for the day is cute and coordinated. We then proceed to float through the day, believing that we're floating on cloud 9.

And then it happens. Everyone knows it the minute it happens, and IT is different for everyone, it is unique to YOU and your personal circumstance. And immediately you snap, as if someone put on a light inside your brain and you recognize the lie for what it is and you see the truth standing next to it, smirking at you. You feel your smile drop and your brow furrow. You feel a slight hitch in your throat and a minor shortness of breath. It's as if a Dementor came across your path and sucked the cheerfulness and energy out of the f-ing day!

Now the trick is to then actually be bloody honest with yourself, acknowledge the truth, so not allow it to simply stand and smirk at you. and then DON'T go and shove the truth back into a dark corner!! Actually drag its ass into the light and DEAL with it. Yes, you can't deal with all your issues in one go. Yes, if you've been hurt, the pain doesn't simply disappear. Yes, sometimes life is just to hard to actually stare it in the face. But then for how long do you think you can continue to live the lie before attempting a short drop and a sudden stop??

Stop living the lie. And now I'm confronting MY truth.

Yes I'm doing better. But NO, I'm not 100 percent yet. I realized it when I saw my former engagement ring in a store front window. In a matter of a split second, a myriad of feelings, both good and bad washed over me, and almost dropped me to my knees, a cloud suddenly blocking out the sun. My saving grace was recognizing the truth and dealing with a bit of it at that very moment. As I walked down the street I cussed under my breath, and shouting in my head. My face probably looked homicidal. Now, an hour later I have my breath back and the frown across my brow has relaxed, but it's not gone. But it's an absolute necessity that we must be honest with ourselves and refuse to live the lie. No, I'm not going to be a bloody Moaning Myrtle, but I will not be crippled by the truth again, I will not allow it to catch me unawares again.

That's the only way I will actually be okay.

Donut bun, yippee!

So, because my hear is not SL yet, whenever I felt like wearing a bun, I would whip out the faux pony and then make a bun using that. It was simple and easy and it's protective, my ends being completely tucked away. Last night however, I watched Ebony's  video on how to make a healthier sock bun, and it clicked in my head, that maybe, just maybe, my own hair is long enough to attempt a sock bun, and so I decided that I need to try it, I have nothing to lose. I haven't done it since high school, and even back then I swear, I never did do it right.

So I found a sock. It's not an old raggedy sock, but its partner has been chowed by the washer. (Yes, I believe that washers and dryers eat socks!!) Snipped off the toe and proceeded to fold my donut. It's a 100 percent cotton sock, so I found a ripped pair of silk stocks and proceeded to cut of the calve section, as well as it's toe and rolled that over the already formed sock donut so that it's silky and smooth and doesn't absorb all the moisture from my hair. And then I tested it out. And it WORKED! My OWN hair was in a bun! And it looks good. At least I think so.



The faux pony will always be there, it's a quick fix for a quick style change. But I love not having to be dependent on it with regards to wearing a bun. So far, it has truly been a happy hair week!!

Moisture is my friend!!

After my protein overload disaster, I have been VERY careful with my tresses, as well as upping the moisturizing. Last week Thursday (19 July 2012) I decided to indulge myself and try out a product that a myriad of people have also been raving about. I know, I know, I should not be jumping on every bandwagon, but I have been craving to try this for MONTHS and it's finally available locally. And that would be....drum roll please....Aussie Mega Moisture!! So I forked over the N$ 70 (about US$ 10) for a 200ml bottle and off I went. That evening I did my pre-poo with a mixture of warm coconut and castor oil. My head was an oil slick. I gently detangled (very little shedding and breakage, yippee!!!) and then covered the oil slick with a plastic baggy and my shower cap and then chilled with Supernatural for the duration of an episode. (Yes, I know I'm addicted. And I couldn't care less, lol) after that I jumped in the shower and lightly shampooed with Avon Moisturizing Shampoo for Dry and Damaged hair. I also did my first black tea rinse then, standing in the shower, tilting my head back and throwing the tea over my hair. I then first conditioned with my Tresseme, for the singular reason to detangle, and then I rinsed. I then slathered on the Aussie Conditioner.

First off, it smells DIVINE!! I love the scent, it has a calming effect and it filled the entire bathroom. Secondly, the conditioner has nice slip. Now, it may be that my hair has already received a shot of moisture from the Tresseme, but the Aussie is so much thicker, I truly felt as if my hair was being drenched in goodness. I covered my hair with the shower cap again and proceeded to wash myself and giving myself over to the lovely scents floating around my bathroom. When I was done I rinsed and my hair felt AWESOME!! It was soft, and detangled, and silky, and it still smelt like the conditioner.

I got dressed at the speed of lightning in my nice warm PJ's (it's winter over here people, and it's COLD) and then proceeded to roller set my hair, using my Dark & Lovely Spritz Moisturizer as leave in, spritzing my hair with it as I'm rolling. It was also on of the easier roller sets, the hair simply glided onto the roller. (my mesh roller have little "teeth") 

I didn't want to stay up ALL night waiting for it to dry so I used my hairdryer on its cold air setting and blasted my hair with the cold hair to help dry it faster. And holy crap!! When it was dry and came out of the rollers it was soft, and flippen shiny! And it still smelled SO awesome! By the way, the fragrance lingered for about three days) I decided to flat iron my roots and then wrap my hair, and I word my hair out the next day. EVERYBODY was commenting and complimenting me on how good my hair looked and how the improvement in health is beyond visible. And those who rarely see my hair out could not believe the added length. I walked on a cloud the ENTIRE Thursday! Yes, Aussie is bloody expensive, but I think it was worth it. It truly was a happy hair day! Check it out.