Entertainment and relaxation - how, where, what?

Good morning everybody. and the good vibes keep on flowing. Life is good, spring is on the way and I'm enjoying a yummy sandwich :-)

Yes, I am going to talk about entertainment, and the fact that it is necessary regardless of age, gender, social class or background. Yes, the prior mentioned can have an effect on what types of entertainment each and every individual prefers, but at the end of the day the point is that everyone needs and deserves a little play time.

I have always been a very social person. I loved clubbing and bar hopping, house parties and frat parties. As long as I was around people I felt as if I was in my element. As the years have moved on my preferences have changed. Instead of bar hopping, I visit one pub/restaurant on the regular. Instead of clubbing I go to concerts and independent film showings and comedy shows. Instead of crazy house parties we now have dinner parties and barbecues. And I still love every minute primarily because of the people I enjoy it with. (Friends give you wings, not Red Bull)

I do however live in a small city and unfortunately the options aren't very varied for those younger in years who would find the dinner parties and stylish pub excruciatingly boring. The clubs aren't what they used to be (part of the reason I don't go to a club often anymore) and there are precious few options if you're actually looking for something to do during the day. No bowling alleys, no mini golf courses. No public library (not for the past few years due to "renovations" in any event) and no gaming arcades. So...these limitations exist and what happens? Teenagers and young adults recreate Project X, consumption of alcohol and drugs run rampant among the younger generation (good grief I sound old) and a sense of hopelessness descends.

The truth of the matter is that EVERYONE needs to be entertained and needs to be able to relax in whatever way they choose. What is crucial though is that the choices need to be expanded. Essentially, how can you know what you like if the only choices you have is (in your mind) sit at home or go to a club/pub/bar and (most probably) drink? How can you know yourself if you're not aware of the other options beyond that which you've never tried? People allow themselves to be limited by their own lack of imagination and sense of fun, and I believe it's largely because of our consumer driven lives, our need for instant gratification, our need to be given instead of us giving.

So, where am I going with this? First of all, if you focus on everything else BUT how to truly relax, then you don't know how, and you'll probably die of a heart attach before reaching 40. Being a workaholic is not a pretty sight, and you're not the only one who suffers.

Secondly, entertainment and relaxation isn't dependent on  going out and spending money. One of the coolest, most relaxing and most entertaining days of my life happened a few years ago, when me and a bunch of friends were sitting around the house on a Sunday. We just finished watching a movie and felt a little bored. Of course going out was out of the question, it was a Sunday afternoon, so the options outside the house were even fewer. So we ended up playing hide-and-seek. A bunch of ADULTS playing hide-and-seek for a good few hours, and it was SO much fun. That night I slept like a baby and the next day had a GOOD Monday at work, no blues to speak of. My point - playfulness is NOT reserved for actual children exclusively.

Thirdly, I'm part of the generation that is bringing the new generation into the world. I'm surrounded by weddings, pregnancies and toddlers. I go to kiddie birthday parties and baby showers. Essentially I believe that my generation should start filling the gaps that exist today with regards to entertainment so that our kids, when they become teenagers don't feel the need to turn to stuff we didn't even dream of when we were their age. We're the generation who can reteach our kids how to play outside and hide the gaming consoles and how to use their minds. So that they don't feel stifled by their lack of options.

Lastly, we need to rethink how we relax. Personally, I have experienced a bit of a reset the past couple of weeks. I started reading again, and ferociously. Two trilogies in a matter of 2 weeks. Of course I still went for a night cap at Garlic and Flowers, and I still attended parties, and I LOVE my sanity sessions with my soul sisters, but I have fallen in love all over again with my first love - books. And I have been sleeping better and feeling better and lighter, and essentially less stressed and more RELAXED.

So what was YOUR first love? Playing sports? Music? Books? Lying in the sun and getting a tan? (Yes, sometimes just being plain old lazy is all the relaxation one needs.) What makes you sleep better at night? What slows your heart beat and removes the anxiety? How do you entertain YOURSELF when you're ALONE? What is clear is that we need to rediscover ourselves and know ourselves, and thus know how we need what we need and in what measures we need it.

I feel good, nanananaaaa!!!

Yes, I do!!! Which is a rare thing on a Monday. But my weekend was too damn awesome for the good feelings to not be transferred to this Monday morning. 

Let's recap. 

Friday started with my friend and soul sister's birthday party. It was chilled out and relaxed, while we still had a lot of fun chatting, getting back to basics and playing cards. Whilst there I realized again how lucky I am to have the friends that I do. It's like being enveloped in a down comforter. And Julio's soup was the bomb!!! The night ended at our preferred haunt, Garlic and Flowers, for a night cap with my other soul sister Ashante, and a catalyst for the smile on my face that lasted ALL weekend long. But I am SO not going to jinx this, so this is where I shut up. :-)

Saturday was taken up by the birthday party of the now 2 year old Zen, and we were surrounded by toddlers, which although cute, made me realize exactly how much of a kid I myself am not anymore. Regardless, it was so much fun. A further continuation of spending time with good friends, good food (Chanty, that curry, yummy!!!) and counting one's blessings. 

The rest of the weekend I was absolutely engrossed in the Hunger Games Trilogy. My inner nerd was in the best mood, I finished all 3 books in a matter of days, a full week has not gone by yet since I purchased them. I was transported to another world, and I actually felt as if I experienced the Games myself. I CAN'T WAIT to see the first film. (I avoided seeing it until I read the books. Personal little rule) Now of course, I'm a little sad, I actually FINISHED the whole trilogy. I'm seriously considering reading them all over again, slowly, since I simply devoured them now. 

Oh yeah, and then a little hair update. I could touch up, so now it's scheduled for this coming weekend at 14weeks post. My NG is driving me a little crazy, so last night I dry DC'd with Pantene Repair and Protect mask for almost 2 hours, then washed with my Avon Moisturizing Shampoo, detangled with Tresseme Moisturizing Conditioner and rinsed, Quick protein Treatment with ORS Olive Oil Intense Repair Masque (which STILL gives no slip and makes my hair feel a little hard, I officially DON'T like this product) and then after rinsing that conditioned again with Pantene smooth and Silky Moisturizing Conditioner while I finished the rest of my shower duties, lol. I then put in Avon 3D Rescue Leave-in Treatment, mixed with ORS Glossing Polisher serum and proceeded to roller set whilst watching True Blood and spritzing my hair with a mix of water, a TINY bit of Aussie Mega Moisture Conditioner and a TEENSY bit of glycerin as I went along. I let my hair airdry in the rollers for about two hours before taking the dryer to them on the mild setting, as it was getting late and I refuse to sleep with rollers, it's too painful and distracting. My roots are WAY thick, so although my hair felt soft coming out of the rollers, I prefer it to be manageable, so I flat ironed (one pass) and wrapped and went to bed. This morning my hair is actually BEHAVING and I am having the best day so far. It feels soft and it's bouncy. I need to look for cute pins though, as much as I'm loving my retention, I need bigger clips now for my protective styles, which is awesome!!! 

Yes, it might just be hair, but it's also a woman's crown and these days, I'm actually liking my own. :-)

Trying something new...hairwise

I know it's been a minute, but between exams and feeling listless, the opportunity to blog wasn't there. However, I do think that it's high time to give a bit of a hair update. Unfortunately, I won't be posting pics now, but I plan to post quite a few soon. This one I'm keeping short and simple.

Okay, what my hair is currently doing is driving me a little CRAZY. I'm 13 weeks post and I'm planning on touching up this weekend, but all things considered, that is not guaranteed. It is needed though. I'm starting to experience additional breakage, especially around the demarcation point and it is quite disheartening. Also, my hair feels brittle, such as if caused by a protein overload, despite the moisturizing conditioners and daily moisturizing and sealing. This past wash day I used 3, yes, T-H-R-E-E conditioners - my Aussie, Tresseme and Pantene, and my hair STILL didn't feel soft as I was roller setting. I'm thinking of washing my hair tonight and to do a DC with heat for at least a good hour, just to check if it makes a freaking difference.

Styling wise, I've been trying a few new things, that being flat twists in front and bunning in the back and pinning up my hair using hair grips. My experiences are that my head does not like my hair being pulled back tight for a long time, more than 4 hours being too long. My head started aching, so flat twists will be reserved for going out to dinner and not for going to work! The pinning...I'm still learning,but I'm getting compliments, so I'm doing something right :-)

Lastly, I've come to realise that I truly do not like winter. It's still freezing, and spring is supposed to be around the corner. What gives? I'll take warm and humid over cold and dry any day, and I suspect my hair readily agrees. So, come on SUMMER!

An aftershock of note

I have considered myself to have been moving on. In fact, I have been feeling rather good about my personal progress, avoiding carrying a grudge and acknowledging any feelings which may come over me so as to not have those feelings crush me. I have been getting back to my life, and I have put my priorities back in order. I have been feeling happy again.

Unfortunately, certain people have the emotional range of a teaspoon, and a bent rusty tea spoon at that, turning to devices of carrying grudges, exacting revenge and slanderous comments and rumours about yours truly. I am still so shocked at this that I have not truly reacted to it, not really. I do feel the effect of it though.

A terrible fatigue has enveloped me since this morning, even though I slept like a baby. I feel tired and my limbs feel incredibly heavy. My hair is pinned up, but honestly, it doesn't look as put together as always, and today, I don't really care that much. It's protected, so it'll survive. My eyes barely stay open and instead of racing across the keyboard, my fingers feel as if they're filled with lead and every word is a struggle to get out.

This has nothing to do with the fact that the relationship is over, but it does have everything to do with the fact that one can still be shocked and hurt by the other's actions in the aftermath. The main quake has subsided, this is an aftershock, which registers quite high on the damn Richter scale. How could you spread such vicious lies?! You kiss your mother with that mouth? How dare you put my career in jeopardy?! Did you ever care at all? Or was it simply an obsession, as I rightly suspected during the finishing stretch of the "relationship" in any event? Have you always been this warped in your perception, or was I just a blind fool who did not want to acknowledge that I'm sleeping with the ENEMY???

Now here's the sixty four thousand dollar question - what did I learn from this? I learned that looks can be hella deceiving. I learned that you can never truly realise how unhinged someone can be. I've learned that I need to listen to my gut at all times. It speaks louder than my heart and my head combined, it speaks truth. I've learned that rules are there for a reason and are not to be broken. Yes, at heart I'm a rebel, but look what breaking my OWN rules got me??? Never again. I've learned, more than ever before, that friends are wonderful and a blessing, existing in many different guises. I've learned that, if in doubt, DON'T!! I've learned that I can handle the pain and that I'm stronger for it. And I've learned that when something seems to good to be true, then it SIMPLY IS. I've learned that prayer gives me strength. And I've learned that I am not responsible for anyone's happiness, nor am I the pack rat who must carry someone else's baggage. Last, but not least in any way sense or form, I've learned that one cannot reason with a narcissistic, chauvinistic, unhinged, controlling, possessive, jealous megalomaniac. Even when you see the good in them, the bad WILL start to outweigh it, they WILL be found wanting at the end of the day, and your heart WILL be broken. so, don't even try. Recognize and RUN!!!! I know I should have...long before now...long before this.

Pretty little liars

We pride ourselves on being honest and open, about people getting what they see and that they should not have unreasonable expectations. We make it clear that we are flawed and that we make mistakes. We also make it clear that change will not happen at the drop of a hat and definitely not at the instance of someone else. We believe firmly that change comes fro within and not because someone else wants it.

That's all GREAT. And also a BIG, FAT lie! Because we are liars. We are so adept at lying that we believe our own lies. Someone asks us how we're doing, we smile and say that we're good. And we believe it! We feel happy, and we laugh and joke with colleagues and friends. We put in a bit of effort to look as good as we feel, by putting on some make up and looking after out hair and making sure that our outfit for the day is cute and coordinated. We then proceed to float through the day, believing that we're floating on cloud 9.

And then it happens. Everyone knows it the minute it happens, and IT is different for everyone, it is unique to YOU and your personal circumstance. And immediately you snap, as if someone put on a light inside your brain and you recognize the lie for what it is and you see the truth standing next to it, smirking at you. You feel your smile drop and your brow furrow. You feel a slight hitch in your throat and a minor shortness of breath. It's as if a Dementor came across your path and sucked the cheerfulness and energy out of the f-ing day!

Now the trick is to then actually be bloody honest with yourself, acknowledge the truth, so not allow it to simply stand and smirk at you. and then DON'T go and shove the truth back into a dark corner!! Actually drag its ass into the light and DEAL with it. Yes, you can't deal with all your issues in one go. Yes, if you've been hurt, the pain doesn't simply disappear. Yes, sometimes life is just to hard to actually stare it in the face. But then for how long do you think you can continue to live the lie before attempting a short drop and a sudden stop??

Stop living the lie. And now I'm confronting MY truth.

Yes I'm doing better. But NO, I'm not 100 percent yet. I realized it when I saw my former engagement ring in a store front window. In a matter of a split second, a myriad of feelings, both good and bad washed over me, and almost dropped me to my knees, a cloud suddenly blocking out the sun. My saving grace was recognizing the truth and dealing with a bit of it at that very moment. As I walked down the street I cussed under my breath, and shouting in my head. My face probably looked homicidal. Now, an hour later I have my breath back and the frown across my brow has relaxed, but it's not gone. But it's an absolute necessity that we must be honest with ourselves and refuse to live the lie. No, I'm not going to be a bloody Moaning Myrtle, but I will not be crippled by the truth again, I will not allow it to catch me unawares again.

That's the only way I will actually be okay.

Donut bun, yippee!

So, because my hear is not SL yet, whenever I felt like wearing a bun, I would whip out the faux pony and then make a bun using that. It was simple and easy and it's protective, my ends being completely tucked away. Last night however, I watched Ebony's  video on how to make a healthier sock bun, and it clicked in my head, that maybe, just maybe, my own hair is long enough to attempt a sock bun, and so I decided that I need to try it, I have nothing to lose. I haven't done it since high school, and even back then I swear, I never did do it right.

So I found a sock. It's not an old raggedy sock, but its partner has been chowed by the washer. (Yes, I believe that washers and dryers eat socks!!) Snipped off the toe and proceeded to fold my donut. It's a 100 percent cotton sock, so I found a ripped pair of silk stocks and proceeded to cut of the calve section, as well as it's toe and rolled that over the already formed sock donut so that it's silky and smooth and doesn't absorb all the moisture from my hair. And then I tested it out. And it WORKED! My OWN hair was in a bun! And it looks good. At least I think so.



The faux pony will always be there, it's a quick fix for a quick style change. But I love not having to be dependent on it with regards to wearing a bun. So far, it has truly been a happy hair week!!

Moisture is my friend!!

After my protein overload disaster, I have been VERY careful with my tresses, as well as upping the moisturizing. Last week Thursday (19 July 2012) I decided to indulge myself and try out a product that a myriad of people have also been raving about. I know, I know, I should not be jumping on every bandwagon, but I have been craving to try this for MONTHS and it's finally available locally. And that would be....drum roll please....Aussie Mega Moisture!! So I forked over the N$ 70 (about US$ 10) for a 200ml bottle and off I went. That evening I did my pre-poo with a mixture of warm coconut and castor oil. My head was an oil slick. I gently detangled (very little shedding and breakage, yippee!!!) and then covered the oil slick with a plastic baggy and my shower cap and then chilled with Supernatural for the duration of an episode. (Yes, I know I'm addicted. And I couldn't care less, lol) after that I jumped in the shower and lightly shampooed with Avon Moisturizing Shampoo for Dry and Damaged hair. I also did my first black tea rinse then, standing in the shower, tilting my head back and throwing the tea over my hair. I then first conditioned with my Tresseme, for the singular reason to detangle, and then I rinsed. I then slathered on the Aussie Conditioner.

First off, it smells DIVINE!! I love the scent, it has a calming effect and it filled the entire bathroom. Secondly, the conditioner has nice slip. Now, it may be that my hair has already received a shot of moisture from the Tresseme, but the Aussie is so much thicker, I truly felt as if my hair was being drenched in goodness. I covered my hair with the shower cap again and proceeded to wash myself and giving myself over to the lovely scents floating around my bathroom. When I was done I rinsed and my hair felt AWESOME!! It was soft, and detangled, and silky, and it still smelt like the conditioner.

I got dressed at the speed of lightning in my nice warm PJ's (it's winter over here people, and it's COLD) and then proceeded to roller set my hair, using my Dark & Lovely Spritz Moisturizer as leave in, spritzing my hair with it as I'm rolling. It was also on of the easier roller sets, the hair simply glided onto the roller. (my mesh roller have little "teeth") 

I didn't want to stay up ALL night waiting for it to dry so I used my hairdryer on its cold air setting and blasted my hair with the cold hair to help dry it faster. And holy crap!! When it was dry and came out of the rollers it was soft, and flippen shiny! And it still smelled SO awesome! By the way, the fragrance lingered for about three days) I decided to flat iron my roots and then wrap my hair, and I word my hair out the next day. EVERYBODY was commenting and complimenting me on how good my hair looked and how the improvement in health is beyond visible. And those who rarely see my hair out could not believe the added length. I walked on a cloud the ENTIRE Thursday! Yes, Aussie is bloody expensive, but I think it was worth it. It truly was a happy hair day! Check it out.

Just a terrible wash day...and a slight review

Yes, yes, yes, I know, it's been a minute. In all honesty I've been running around like a crazy person at work and at the same time getting to know myself all over again. That however is a story for another post.

What I want to talk about today is the fact that I tried out a new product, based on rave reviews online and my own sister liking the CRAP out of this product. That being ORS Olive Oil Hair Masque Deep Treatment.  So, the instructions say that it's an intensive treatment that cannot be used on a too regular basis and when one applies it, that 5-10 minutes is sufficient, depending on whether heat is used or the extent of damage to one's hair. I thought, since my hair's health has picked up quite a bit that 5 minutes under a shower cap in the shower while washing the rest of my body would be sufficient.

So...I got a sample of sulfate free shampoo from The Body Shop. It lathered up very nicely for a sulfate free shampoo, and my hair felt clean, but it simply didn't feel right. I don't know how to describe it. Nevertheless, I then put on the Masque and detangled when my hair was drenched in it. And this is where the nonsense started:
1. Very little slip. It took forever to detangle my still short hair and I wasn't even 9 weeks post at the time!
2. Because of the lack of slip I ended up with a lot of hair in my comb after the detangle session, much more than usual. I had to talk very sternly to myself to not start crying right there in the shower!

I then put on my shower cap and had a nice long shower, hoping the steam of the shower would also benefit my hair along with the product.

When I rinsed out the masque my hair just felt wrong, very wrong. Not soft, not conditioned, but freaking HARD! And then I had a light bulb moment - this must be a HARD protein treatment. I immediately grabbed my Tresseme Moisturizing Conditioner and slathered it on, and I mean SLATHERED. Unfortunately, it only helped a little. Trying to rollerset was close to IMPOSSIBLE. But I pushed through, if I left my hair to just airdry like that this disaster would have been even greater. I however did not use any heat to have my hair dry in the rollers, so it took about 4-5 hours, during which I indulged my current Supernatural obsession. On a side not, isn't Dean Winchester just the perfect guy?? I would SO go along on those hunting trips with him. Damn!!

Okay, in any event, after my hair dried, I took out the rollers, moisturized and sealed and wrapped. My hair felt crunchy and off for days!! Friends and colleagues did say that it had a nice shine, but I just hated how it felt, and the amount of breakage I experienced for the first two days afterwards.

Lesson learnt - that is what a protein overload feels like. I still have the masque, it's too damn expensive to throw away. But I will be using it once a month only, and I will make sure to prepoo with a moisturizing conditioner instead of oil, so that I don't throw out the balance again.

Any similar experiences?

I caught the bouquet!

I know, I haven't been here in a minute. To be fair, nothing interesting happened regarding my hair. and I've been nowhere near a PC for a few days. However, I did partake in the celebration of a blessed union, and I did it without having a mini break down. My cousin got married this past weekend and it was truly an occasion to remember. And I mean in every sense.

The decor was superb, the food was amazing, the DJ knew what he was doing more than half the time, (which is good, I've been to many weddings where the DJ had no clue) there was an open bar (!) and it was held at the spectacular Namibian coast, the desert air crisp and clear and chilly. I still need to negotiate with my photographer dad for some pics.

It was a beautiful wedding and an amazing reception, but what amazed me the most, which I have not seen before, was the bridal couple being some of the last people to leave the reception hall. They danced with everyone, they chatted with everyone, the bride led the conga line!! They had fun and truly celebrated their union.

Yes, it is true that I'm wrestling with the idea of commitment (again!) but it did put a smile on my face to see these beautiful young people commit themselves and their lives to one another. Witnessing this almost gave me new hope regarding the topics of love and relationships and commitment and monogamy and all that jazz.

And then of course, the irony of life (if nothing else, God has a wry sense of humor) - I caught the bridal bouquet, something that has never happened to me before. Some say I should see it as a sign. Right now all I see is the funny twists and turns the paths of my life are taking these days, but I smiled and I enjoyed the moment of victory.

On the topic of hair, I did a roller set, wrapped it and wore my hair out for the wedding. The roots experienced a hell of a lot of reversion (cold, damp, coastal air) but for the most part I looked cute through out the night in my purple. pink and grey ensemble. When I got home, thoroughly exhausted, I simply wrapped my hair and passed out. The next morning I just moisturized and sealed by spritzing clean water and using a silicone serum to seal and then bunned my hair. By the time I got home to the dryer interior the reversion from the previous 24 hours was gone and my hair still soft and manageable. Next wash will either be a minor one tonight before heading out to dinner with my closest girlfriends, or a major one Saturday morning, which will include a long coconut oil pre-poo and a nice long DC with a heated towel while I watch Supernatural.(Hello there Dean!!)

Until next time, have an awesome hump day!!

I survived the weekend...and an official length check

It's Monday, I am at work, I definitely need to tackle the heap on my desk, and I made through the weekend. The first weekend. I'm still employing the same survival methods - focus on the here and now and let the future take care of itself. 

On another note, on Friday, after work, I went to the salon to a stylist that I know does awesome blow outs. I again realised why I haven't been to a salon in over 7 months - the wash girl shampooed and conditioned my hair in one big ball, did not detangle prior to me getting into the stylists chair and in my opinion the products used were subpar. I could feel my ends being dry and my hair being FULL of static electricity. While she was doing the blow out I feel that she could have been a little more gentle, but it wasn't that bad. The end result however was AWESOME. My hair had lots of movement, body and shine. And I could finally see that I have really had some good growth. Also, I am 7 weeks post and one would swear that I just had a fresh relaxer after that blow out. So, taking that into consideration, I decided to a very official length check compared to when I started on this journey. I apologise for the picture quality - cellphone, and taken in the bathroom. 

I think that I can technically claim SL due to the hair at the back actually reaching that length, but I do not wish to claim it until the front and sides at the very least reach chin length, and I really think that I'm not that far off from it. Also, the salon won't see me again for quite a long time, since I now know that me taking care of my own hair yields the best results. However, when I do go again (I never said never, lol)  will make sure to either take my own products and to detangle myself prior to the blow out OR I will wash and DC at home and then simply have my hair rinsed at the salon and then blown. This time, to counteract the dryness left by the subpar products and lack of proper detangling I moisturized and sealed a little heavier than usual and I have succeeded in parching the dryness in a 24hour time span. 

So ladies, am I entitled to give myself a pat on the back? 

My personal zombie apocalypse

The past 72 hours I have been walking around in a daze. Yes, I'm doing what needs to be done, I talk to people, I go to work, I eat 3 meals a day, I take my showers, I moisturize,seal and wrap my hair. But I am on auto pilot, because if I truly turn off the auto pilot and retake the reigns at this very moment, I might crash the damn plane.

Everyone has experienced heart ache and heart break. If you say you haven't, then you've never opened yourself up to anyone ever before, and you've never fully risked before. Well, I smashed down walls, with a massive sledge hammer, I broke rules as if they weren't there for a reason, all in the name of love. And after risking it all, the bookie came to collect. And I'm left with what feels like a zombie apocalyptic wasteland. Every now and then something shakes me out of my reverie, and I feel myself losing breath, as if running from the monsters chasing me, my blood rushing in my ears and my heart beat pounding in my throat. Before I can stop myself tears stream down my face and I start feeling as if death has his icy grip around my neck. But thanks to the fact that is not my first rodeo I quickly grab the proverbial shotgun and start shooting those zombies in the head, my sole focus keeping myself together long enough to get to a safe place.

I thank the Lord for the soldiers who fight beside me, the women who pass me another tissue, or another shot of Jagermeister. The friends who listen while I ramble at a mile a minute as if this has never before happened to anyone else. My mother who knows that for now the topic is off limits if I am to hold on to my composure. The colleagues who already know the different looks upon my face that I experienced the intense fear of not making it. I thank the Lord for all of these superstars who support me without coddling me, for if it were not for them, I might have been turned into a full fledged brain craving zombie myself already.

Essentially, I can't even think of the future right now, just attempting to think beyond tomorrow bring on the cold sweats. My focus is getting through today. If I can survive today, tomorrow might be easier.

Successful experiment!

So, I got home last night and looked myself in the mirror. I have been a very good girl the past 4 days, moisturizing and sealing religiously, as little manipulation as possible and sleeping with my little silk wrap every night without fail. However, as it being winter, I'm sealing with serum, specifically ORS Glossing Polisher, which is heavier than coconut oil and thus my hair felt a little grimy and ready for a wash. After making the decision to wash I also eyed the left over colour from a couple of months ago, Caivil Ebony Black, a temporary rinse containing no ammonia or peroxide.

So I grabbed the colour and contrary to the instructions on the box I applied it to my dry hair, covering the detangled strands as much as possible. After that I slathered on Protein Feed Conditioner as a pre-poo right on top of the colour, covered my head with a shower cap, then a HOT towel, and a plastic bag over that and then enjoyed a cup of coffee and an episode of Supernatural, or two. I then jumped in the shower and proceeded with my normal wash day routine except that I didn't DC last night.

Regardless my hair came out SOFT and the colour intense. I proceeded to roller set, spritzing my home made leave in as I went along, dry with my hairdryer being on the cold air setting and then wrapped up my hair and passed out whilst watching more Supernatural. (Oh Dean, oh Dean!! He is so fine!!) This morning I simply bunned my hair with the help of an EZ comb, and my hair is soft, shiny, glossy, and the colour is lovely. I'm almost 5 weeks post and although I clearly feel my NG, it's not a bother, my hair is so soft that the freaking EZ comb wants to slip out if look over my shoulder too fast. And I love it!! All in all, I would say, a success.

PS Loving the HHJ, especially the random compliments from friends and colleagues. :-)

A bit of a review

And it's Monday once more, the start of a new week, with new challenges laying ahead of us all. As well as a day for a bit of reflection for the week gone by. And it has gone by quickly. 

Quick update - I've had a monster of a cold which is only dissipating now. I had an assignment which was handed in 2 minutes before cut off time. I've learned that a hot water bottle is MAGIC to warm the bed during these FREEZING winter months without chasing up my power bill. And I've tried out a new product and I officially need to put my thoughts down, because it's bad. 

Okay, first of all, this is a short product review and it is NOT sponsored. The brand is Dr Miracle's and the products that I've tried include the Anti-Breakage Strengthening Creme, the Deep Conditioning Treatment and the Conditioning Leave-in treatment, all of which formed part of the Conditioning Treatment Pack. I admit, my expectations were a little on the high side because of a colleague who sang the products' praises. However, I was sorely disappointed. And here's why:

• the leave in conditioner gave NO slip whatsoever and left my hair feeling hard and unmanageable whilst attempting to rollerset. Because I didn't want to throw away the rest of the packet I mixed it with my conditioner/water/glycerin mix, and the result is a bit more shine, but I will not buy this product again. 
• the deep conditioner was also a disappointment. Yes, the tingle upon the scalp felt nice. Yes, it smelled nice. Yes, my hair felt soft right after I rinsed it. No, my hair did not continue to feel soft during the roller setting process. No, my hair did not feel soft after it dried. No, my hair had no shine or movement. No, I will not purchase this product again. 
• the anti-breakage cream was the MOST disappointing. I decided to use it as if a growth aid and hair dress and to seal, since it contains petrolatum in its ingredients list. Again the tingle felt nice, it makes one believe that your hair is growing. But during the little over two weeks of using the product (applying it every night, with this product, a little really does go a LONG way) I've noticed INCREASED breakage and shedding, especially in the front half of my head. 

On the flip side, I can feel that my hair has grown quite a bit, especially around my crown and back, even around the nape(which never happened in the past) so I am not discouraged by this little set back. 

In conclusion, there are MANY products in the Dr Miracle's lineup, but after being sorely disappointed after simply testing only 3 of those, I don't think that I will be attempting any others. Has anyone else had similar experiences?

It's true, your feelings are powerful!

We've all been there. We've read The Secret and listened to the Teachings of Abraham Hicks. We have heard how positive thinking can uplift your spirit as well as your circumstances. If you're sick, think healthy. If you're hungry, visualize that awesome meal and before you know it, someone will invite you to dinner. If you're struggling financially, don't focus on it, and you will receive in abundance. Do not speak of what you don't want, speak of what you already have and are grateful for and of what you desire to come as if you already have it. And then FEEL the gratitude, love, joy, happiness that goes along with that desire being in your life.

I have perfected that kind of thinking in certain areas of my life, but today I realized that I have been a fool,  because when it came to the big stuff, my head was filled with negative thinking. I was selective in using the Secret and applying the power of Attraction. My relationship hit some major bumps in the road,and it would not have if I just re-tuned myself onto a more positive frequency ages ago. Yes, it takes two to tango, but one person's energy can greatly influence that of his or her partner, I know that now more clearly than ever.

I know of a loved one who's finances are a mess, and they stress about it all the time. Mine are a mess too, but I try to not focus on it, and yet, I am always provided for. I have a roof over my head and food in my belly every day. But still I have not filled my mind and heart with the good positive feelings of already having that, and thus every month I still feel a bit of a struggle instead of receiving in abundance.

My career is not where I would have wanted it to be, but I focus on the fact that I KNOW that I am on the road to greatness and legend, and thus my job is not a chore, but a joy. However, I still have moments where I cuss myself for not making different choices years before and thus I deprive myself of the true joy that I should be feeling to be advancing more rapidly within my career.

And lastly, the point that made me realize how true ALL of this is - my hair journey. Yes, it seems trivial to some, but hear me out. I have been in a negative space for the past week or so. Yesterday I had a major wash day, putting in ALL the effort and time. And at the end of it all, I felt that my hair lacked shine, luster, movement and I could see that I have experienced some hectic breakage and shedding in just the past WEEK. And so I realised, my negative feelings have been SO powerful, that it affected me physically, specifically regarding my hair, which I take more notice of since starting my HHJ.

And THAT's where my epiphany originates from. I can't be positive and think positive selectively. I can't say that I can ALWAYS find a parking space in a crowded mall parking lot, but then I'm negative about the amount of money in my wallet. I can't be positive about my weight loss but then be negative about the condition of my skin. I can't be positive about my car (which I LOVE to drive) but then be negative about my flat. I can't be selective when it comes to changing my life!

Personal Monday directive: change comes with one step. That step for this week - SPEAK only in a positive manner. The mouth runneth over what the heart is full of. If I can control what I say, I can control what I think, I can control what  feel. Point is, today is a new day. And I wish to experience the best of this day, every day.

Expectations and disappointment

How often do we not derail our own hopes and dreams with unrealistic expectations of self or others? We as a species have a myriad of expectations. we expect recognition if we've worked hard. We set deadlines for our goals, whether it be graduation, that promotion, a raise, that last ten pounds to lose, when to quit smoking, when to get married, when to start a family, when to own a house, when to start our own business, when to earn large family which will afford you the mansion and the expensive car.

We expect loved ones to treat us in a certain way. We want professional peers to regard us in a certain manner. We expect wishes and presents on our birthdays, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, whatever day. We expect sympathy and concerned questions when we walk into a room and we KNOW that we look as horrible as we feel. We expect to be congratulated if we come bearing big news. We expect to be comforted if we feel sad.

Essentially we want to prescribe to the world how we want to be loved and treated without really  saying it out loud. And then those expectations aren't met, those deadlines aren't met and we crack. We end up feeling disappointed, unloved and unworthy. We start doubting ourselves and we start to talk ourselves down. We start to develop self esteem issues, as well as trust issues, because we've been disappointed and hurt too often. We start being scared and avoid risks, be they in life, work or love. We think that the risk is too high so rather not take it and then never experience disappointment. 

THAT life is a life I do not want to live. I would rather accept that others may love me in different ways than I would have envisioned, and then if I want something specific I'll open my mouth and express my wish. I will not have deadlines anymore! Yes, goals will always be there, but I will not cripple myself anymore if a certain goal was attained a little late than initially thought. If I feel that I need a hug, I'd give one first and then comfort is received all round. I would stop talking down to myself and lift my damn head again. For years my biggest point of pride was that I had no regrets, and that I could always look myself straight in the mirror. This past week I experienced regret, but I need to forgive myself right now and look myself in the eye again, for if I don't love myself, I can't expect others to love me in any way.

Point is, don't you think that if we expected a little less and did a little more and simply enjoyed life and it's twists and turns and surprises that we'll all be a little happier and content? That is what I wish for myself, and for others.

Knot out...epic fail

This will be short...tried my first attempt at a knot out. Made twelve knots in the front half of my hair and slept with them covered with my silk bonnet. Woke up and unrolled the knots and gently tried to separate to get in order to get cute curls. EPIC FAIL. My hair looked a HOT mess. Felt great because I moisturised and sealed prior to rolling the knots, but looked awful. Ended up spritzing my hair with my leave in, detangling, wrapping while showering and then lightly blow drying and straightening my fringe and just pulling the rest back into the EZ comb bun. Will only attempt this again once hair reaches SL, thank you very much. Saturday...we'll try  braid out. Hope that it goes better than this.

Fresh touch up after 13 weeks post

13 weeks post relaxer in my life was a test of patience. My last stretch was 12 weeks and simple logistics prevented me from having this current stretch also end at 12 weeks. Nevertheless, the tresses were relaxed at 13 weeks post with Dark 7 Lovely Beautiful Beginnings No-Lye Relaxer Kit. Yes, I used the kiddie brand, as I have found it years ago to be gentler on my scalp. In addition I stirred in about a teaspoon of castor oil before applying it to my NG to prevent over-processing. After application and smoothing I rinsed and shampooed with the kit's neutralizing shampoo immediately, using ORS Hair Mayonnaise as the mid protein step, which I kept in my hair for about ten minutes, after which I shampooed again with the neutralizing shampoo and one final lather with ORS Creamy Aloe before applying ORS Replenishing Pak which I sat with for 30minutes whilst wearing a plastic cap. After rinsing that I spritzed on some leave in for slip because although my hair was soft, it had very little slip.

HUGE POINT THAT NEEDS TO BE MADE: Prior to starting my HHJ, whenever I had a touch up, when rinsing I would see SO much hair in the tub. My hair broke like it was being paid. It went on for so long that for the longest time I believed it to be the norm. Until yesterday. During the entire rinsing process, I think I saw a maximum of 8 hairs! Yes, breakage and shedding have been reduced to the very minimal in only three months!!! I'm so happy I did a happy dance right next to the tub.

Okay, and we're back. My hair was then roller set and left to air dry in the rollers, which only took a couple of hours. After removing the rollers, I decided to not yet straighten it with heat but to only do that on the first wash day after this entire relaxing session. I strongly believe that my hair looks it's best after that first wash day on freshly relaxed hair. I will at that juncture then also take a progress pic to determine if my retention goal of 2-3 cm have been met (but I believe, just from pulling my hands through my hair, that the goal was achieved). I honestly believe that my regimen is working. It's still a little touch and go, but the important thing is progress, not perfection.

Till next time :-)

Opening up a can of worms

We live in a democracy. We have free and fair elections and those in "power" are there because we put them there. 

Is the above really true? If it was why does it seem that we, as a people, as a society, complain more than anything else? We have SO much to say every day about the government and its actions, whether it be on local, regional or national level. We are unhappy with the way things are run, from our schools, to our healthcare system to economic decisions. We put our kids in private schools because the public school system is lacking. We pay a small fortune to a medical aid scheme every month so that should fate turn against us that we have access to private hospitals because simply the idea of being taken up in a state hospital shakes us to our core. We buy 4x4 vehicles that we know will withstand the ever worsening roads and the gravel roads that to this day has still not seen a drop of tar. And we complain about the costs of fuel, even though we full well know that we drive absolute guzzlers. We see the corruption in front of us, and we partake in it. We pay the guy at some government office a couple of bucks under the table so that our passports/identification documents/visas/work permits etc can be processed faster. We complain about the building of monuments and the naming of streets honouring the STILL living and that it's a waste of taxes. BUT DO WE ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT??

You, as a citizen of this country; do you partake in every election? Do you write to your governor and ask them why the public schools don't have the much needed textbooks/classrooms/teachers etc? Do you write to your Minister and demand that the state hospitals be better equipped? Do you pay every cent of your taxes? Are you honest in your dealings with lower government officials? Do you donate to the public school and health care systems? Do you invest your money into local initiatives or do you bury it in some Swizz bank account? Do you support charitable organisations which attempt to better the standard of living of those who cling to the lowest tiers? DO YOU HAVE AN OPINION ON THE ISSUES?? An actual opinion regarding health care, education and schooling, the economy and rights embodied in the Constitution and which you were born with? Do you actually THINK for yourself? Or do you simply follow the heard and BAAAAAHHHHHH all day long like the rest of the sheep?

Do not for one second think that this post is meant as support for the current administration. It's not even a critique on the current administration. It IS a critique on US, the people who should stop complaining and put in some work, bring some action, make our voices heard. WE CANNOT ALLOW THE DRIVER OF THE CAR TO BE LOST FOR MILES AND MILES AND MILES! Because if we continue to keep quiet after the driver already took two suspect lefts, it's our own damn fault if we end up in the woods with no light in sight. 

So...here's my question - are YOU a sheep?

Bangin and Swangin Challenge - May

I know, I know, I know. Ebony I apologize for my tardiness. Lol. Everybody, here are my goals for taking part in the B&S challenge hosted by Ebony of Longing4Length, specifically for May:

• GET BACK IN THE GYM - 3-5 times a week, concentrating on cardio
• Incorporate MUCH more fruits and veggies in diet, at least 2-4 servings a day
• Drink the recommended EIGHT glasses of water a day
• Cut down, as in WAY down on refined carbs and sugars
• Lose at least 2 kg

Regarding the hair part of the challenge, for May specifically:

• Be CONSISTENT
• Pre-poo before every wash, alternating between a conditioner pre-poo and oil pre-poo
• DC once a week
• Protein treat once to twice a month (my hair can handle it I realise, but more than that leads to over load and breakage)
• Protective style 90% of the time
• M&S DAILY!!
• Sleep with silk bonnet EVERY NIGHT
• Treat edges with castor oil 3-5 times a week to fill them out. 

Alrighty then. Let the games begin. Happy weekend everybody!!

April goals revisited

I have not been here in a minute, and it's actually a little crazy how it has effected me to the extent that just gearing myself up to write this post took a little bit of doing. But I am back, in full swing and complete glory, and although were almost a third into the 5th month already, I need to revisit my April goals, specifically those regarding my hair. So, to recap, those goals were:

• FINISH at least 3 products from the list below, and it was a success, as I actually finished 6. 
• • Pantene Silky Smooth Shampoo and Conditioner 
  • L'Oreal Elvive Repairing Conditioner 
  • Avon Moisturizing Shampoo and Conditioner for dry and damaged hair
  • Avon Overnight Elixir
  • ORS Aloe Moisturizing Shampoo
  • ORS Hair Mayonnaise
  • ORS Replenishing Pak Conditioner (1pack)
  • ORS HAIresque Deep Conditioner (1pack)
  • ORS Olive Oil Moisturizing Lotion
  • ORS Olive Oil Moisturizer Hair dress (tub) 
  • ORS Hair Fertilizer
  • Dark and Lovely Ultimate Cholesterol Deep Conditioner
  • Dark and Lovely Anti-Breakage Conditioning Repair Mask
  • Dark and Lovely Beautiful Beginnings Normal Relaxer Kit
  • Dark and Lovely Oil Moisturizer Spray
  • Castor Oil
  • Coconut Oil
  • Pure Glycerin
  • Kair Light Serum
  • Bone Straight Wrap, Blow and Setting lotion
  • Self made leave in consisting of Protein Feed Conditioner, water and glycerin. 
  
  
• Sleep with the SILK BONNET. In general successful, with the exception of maybe six or seven nights the entire month, thus technically a goal achieved. 
• Experiment with some other methods of styling. I DID experiment, a little, but it was not extensive. What I did try was the following:
• phony pony
• phony pony in a bun
• headband covering edges and most of hairline
• wore my hair out (to a wedding, it felt nice)

• Moisturize and seal EVERY DAY! Unsuccessful. On average it happened only every 2nd day, except for the very first week in May. 
• Properly pre-poo before every wash, and deep condition more often this month. Unsuccessful. I did not properly pre-poo before every wash, and I experienced a bit of protein overload this month. I also did not give my self proper time to DC every week, and once only kept the DC in for 10 minutes  without heat instead of 45 with heat. 

Three out of five is not too bad in my mind. From this month on wards I'm taking part in Ms Ebony's Banging & Swanging Challenge from Longing4Length, and those goals will be incorporated in my current regime. The above items will also continue to be part of my regime in my HHJ, as the ultimate aim at the end of the day is to have long, lush, healthy hair. I do think that I am retaining length though, I believe that slowly but surely what I am doing is yielding results. Friends are commenting on how good my hair looks and on how it's grown. I can't wait to hit SL. Till next time all. Have a good one.